Time is just a concept...

 

TORTOISE 1, HARE 0

A month ago I wrote (here) about my struggles to get up to speed for the Kiltwalk in September.  Time for another update.  And another plea for people to donate a bit for the worthy cause I'll be walking for.

I've done another four walks since then, and keep learning about what my body can do now (hint : a lot less than it used to...).  The first three were shortish, well under ten miles each.  But last weekend I headed out to Balerno, and The Water of Leith Walkway.  

That was the route I used for my 'virtual' Kiltwalk in 2020, which was also the last time I walked the whole of that route.  It's slightly shorter and easier now, for the work that was taking place around the Dean Village has been completed and that avoids the trek up and down the hill which was previously required.  Near enough twelve and a half miles if you do the full distance.

I did.  But slowly.  Very slowly.  On previous Kiltwalks I've always walked non-stop.  No loo breaks.  No halts to have some water, just sling the bag off, slug from the bottle, and bag back on, with only a little drop in pace.  Even at the provided pit stops I'd be shouting "Banana please" about 15 paces before I got to where volunteers were distributing goodies, so there'd be one held out for me as I passed by!  

Not any more.  If I hadn't had a few stops (I can't now remember if it was 3 or 4) I'm not sure I'd have made it to the end.  Most were no more than a minute, a quick sit down to reset the limbs, and off again.  Except the last one.  By then my route was passing close to home, my back was aching, and I was soooo tempted to pack up and go back to comfy chair and a hot bath.  So tempted.  But around 3 minutes on a park bench changed my mind.  Aches diminished, spirit restored.  I walked on to the end.

Which meant I did the distance in around 3 hours 48.  In 2020, on the slightly longer route, it was 3 hours 17.  Oh well.  This is who I am now.  And accepting that, and forgetting about who I was three years ago, is going to be the key to doing the walk.  That and trying to age semi-gracefully....

In 2019 I promised myself that in 2020 I'd try to break 3 and a half hours.  I never got the chance to find out if I could, and now it's gone.  It would be good to at least beat the 4 hour mark.  Or maybe not.  It no longer matters.  Last weekend at least proved to me I will still be able do the distance, as long as I'm 'sensible'.  (Yuk!)

But it's only worthwhile if I raise some money for Advocard, where I'm still a volunteer and providing advocacy for people who have difficulties being listened to.  So if you've read this far... maybe you'd be ready to head over to my donations page and press the big blue 'GIVE NOW' button?  

I did enjoy the walk.  Being back on the Walkway made me realise that I've missed it, with so many lovely views along the way, and the impressive murals in Colinton Tunnel.  If you're in Edinburgh and haven't been I recommend it.  

Walk smarter, not quicker

 DON'T ASK HOW LONG IT'LL TAKE, JUST IF...?

Two days ago I became a proper OAP.  Yesterday I walked more than ten miles.  Today I ache.  Spot the obvious connections.

Once again I have signed up to do the Kiltwalk charity event in September.  My first, in 2018, my sole aim was to get to the end.  For the next I wanted to be quicker, and did the fourteen and a bit miles in three hours thirty three minutes.  Frustratingly close to three and a half hours, so that was to be my aim in 2020, if the same course was in use.  But we know what happened next.  And again in '21.  So here I am, trying again.  The route has yet to be announced, but I know one thing.  I won't be doing it in three and a half hours.

Three years older, complete with the subtle physical modifications that gradual decrepitude  brings.  A clear thickening around the middle.  Two bouts of the oh-so-fashionable covid virus, leaving me with (my GP suggests) a few breathing problems from long covid.  I have finally entered the world of daily meds, for a mild heart condition.  And the dodgy left knee gets ever dodgier.  Intimations of mortality

But the optimistic part of my brain still goes "you've done it before, you can do it again".  While the inner realist reflect on all those changes, and wonders...

I haven't tried on the kilt for a long time. Will it still fit, comfortably enough to wear for so many hours?  I can always get another kilt though. I can't get another body, so I'll have to make the best of the one I've got.

I've now put nine walks behind me, from less than five miles, up to yesterday's first effort at passing the ten mark.  I've learned that I have to pace myself - as the one attempt to push on at something like my old speed resulted in me feeling like shit for all of the day after!  Yesterday's ten and a bit felt comfortable enough.  But took over three hours.  A pace that would take me over the four hour mark on the day.  

It's not as if it matters.  If anyone is going to sponsor me I'm sure they'll not make it conditional on my pushing myself to the point of exhaustion, or covering the distance in a certain time.  The most important thing is to collect some money for Advocard, my chosen charity once more.  And this year, for the first time, I won't be alone in my kilted effort, with at least one other and possibly more joining in.  But there's still this stupid pride thing that us humans do.  And knowing that the one thing about getting old is not actually wanting to feel like you're getting old.  I just wish that optimistic wee voice I mentioned within would learn to shut up.

Click here to be taken to my donations page.

Who are we?

 

WHO?  WHAT?  

In the Olympics we parade in the opening ceremony as United Kingdom, but compete as Team GB.  In most international sports we play as four separate countries.  One of those four is sometimes on it's own, so Northern Irelnd compete as such in football, and sometimes as part of the national team of a neighbouring state, with ireland playing as a complete nation, including the occupied territory.   That same sport also sees us compete as part of a British Isles Team, while in golf we can play as part of Europe.  Meanwhile the stories about the English media describing Andy Murray as Britsh when he's won, and Scottish when he's lost, are not entirely apocryphal. 

If a UK newsreader mentions "the largest city in the North East" we all know that they mean Newcastle.  A Scottish newsreader is referring to Aberdeen.  In one of the four countries the culture is for people to unconsciously use the words England/English and Britain/British as synonyms.  But never in the others, where there is no confusion, unconscious or otherwise.  When I go outside the UK people often ask if I'm English, but immediately know the difference when I say Scottish.  I hardly ever recall ever being asked if I was British.  

The UK is a unitary state in constitutional terms, but disunited in the real world.  It has an ongoing identity crisis, a deep confusion about what it is and who we are.  And this isn't a recent development.

I started going to Murrayfield to watch Scotland play in the late 60s.  When it was England's turn to come here they were always accompanied by tubby, oldish man (well oldish to me at the time) in a 'John Bull' outfit, complete with union flag waistcoat.  Even at twelve years old I knew that was simply wrong.  He couldn't be supporting what that flag represented, because that wasn't who was playing.  So why was he so confused?

I lived for thirty five years in England.  How many times was I told about how well/badly England were doing in the Olympics?  Or Britain in the football World Cup?  More than you might think, or than even the people saying it might think, for they were completely unaware of the implications of what they were saying.  Even when it was pointed out to them, some still couldn't grasp the difference (including my first wife, which might be one of the reasons why she's not my wife any more...).   

UK has a deeply confused identity.  Life would be a lot simpler if we put it out of it's misery, and let everyone be who they really are.  End the union.

Something old, something new, something tasty, something bluesy

 

TAPAS AND JOHN PEEL

D'ye ken John Peel?  Or, more appropriately, d'ye mind o' John Peel?  Not the legendary Cumberland huntsman, but the far more influential Liverpudlian DJ and broadcaster who sadly died in 2004.  Influential?  Well he certainly was in my life, and that impact he made reverberated again yesterday, providing an unexpected experience.

In my late teens and early twenties I was a frequent listener to Peel's late night music programme.  Often I'd end the day in bed, my tiny orange transistor radio, and the single earpiece plugged in.  Lying there in the dark I'd hear an eclectic mix of genres and instruments and styles, some immediately rejected, some diving into my consciousness.  If the latter remained an LP purchase would invariably result.  And my entry into the weird world of 'unusual' acts like Ivor Cutler and Wild Man Fischer.  And one of those LPs was Paco, by flamenco guitarist Paco de Lucia.  

Yesterday we had a walk along Portobello Prom, and decided that before going home we'd have a late lunch/early dinner.  The first promising place we came to was a Spanish tapas restaurant, so in we went.  First impressions weren't great.  The waiter waved us vaguely in as he was on the phone.  Lighting was a bit on the dim side considering it was only late afternoon.  And there was a noisy group of young women and their kids at a table.

But the waiter came over and couldn't have been lovelier.  The sun came out from behind a cloud and brightened the place up.  And the loud presences left the building, leaving us as the only two customers.  Which also meant I could hear the music coming over the speakers, and my ears sharpened up immediately.  The unmistakeable sound of flamenco guitar, all cascading ripples of notes percussive rhythms and bright, jumping energy.  In this case with a melody and style I recognised instantly.  Paco.  I hadn't played that LP for years.  I wondered if I still had it, for in downsizing I did get rid of a lot of my old vinyl.  But it was always a favourite, surely it's one I would have hung on to?

The track came to an end, to be succeeded by voices, which I couldn't make out.   Was this a radio station they had on and the immediately identifiable track was a coincidence?  No, this was their Spotify playlist, and what I'd heard was one of the ads.  Yes, it was Paco de Lucia (except he pronounced it correctly!).  Yes he was an icon of Spanish music.  It was clear that the waiter was delighted to find someone who knew of the man, and he talked knowledgeably about the musician's background and relatively recent death.  And asked if I'd like some suggestions for similar artists.

Would I?  Of course I would.  As we ate our (delicious) tapas he found time to scribble down a list, which was duly delivered.  Then we mentioned a Galician folkrock band we're fans of.  Which prompted another addition to the list.  And, in exchange, he took a photo of the name of our favourite band, which was on my tee shirt, and said he'd be investigating them.

I hope he does.  For I'm enjoying his little list, courtesy of YouTube and Spotify, and sooo pleased to find that Paco still sitting on my vinyl shelf and being able to listen to him today.  The years slipped away...

Without John Peel we'd have come away feeling we'd discovered an interesting place to eat.  With John Peel, or at least with listening to him more than four decades ago, we've added the even better discovery of new music to explore.  Or was that down to a butterfly in South America?

There's no idiot quite like a far right idiot

 It was said, back in 2014, that supporters of Scottish Independence were acting as Putin's useful idiots.  That his aim was to do anything he could to destabilise the two most significant opponents he faced in Europe - The EU and NATO.  Breaking up the UK would be a step along the road to damaging both.  And the subsequent move of Alex Salmond to appear on the Russian propaganda TV channel suggests there may well have been links - although also having the arch unionist Galloway on there suggests Putin will take advantage of any disruptive influences he can find. 

In 2014 Putin's aims, if such they were, failed. But in 2016 he struck gold. His main weapon of choice in undermining western democracy is the political far right (so Indy may be seen as an aberration). The full extent of Russian interference may never be known, but Putin must have been delighted to see a fellow anti-democratic narcissist enter the White House, and for one of the larger states of Europe to try and destabilise the EU with a messy divorce.

Fortunately his success in the US was short lived - can you imagine having a Putin admirer running the US right now? Biden is far from being the perfect president, but he is so, so much better an option than Trump. But the UK has compounded it's gift to Putin by electing a hard right government of incompetents, who have become a laughing stock internationally. Yes, we have a Foreign Secretary who gets confused between the Black Sea and the Baltic (can you imagine the feeding frenzy of the UK's right wing media had Dianne Abbott or Nicola Sturgeon said something similarly stupid?), and a PM knee deep in Russian corruption and money laundering.

Putin will continue to use whatever means to further his destabilisation aims. He has made little headway in Europe's big hitter, Germany, but the French presidential election was a big test of resistance. Quite how a country that suffered so much under fascist occupation can now opt to vote in such large numbers for one of Hitler's successors is beyond me, but Le Pen was far too close to taking control of one of Europe's big hitters.  Macron, as in the US, is far from perfect but he's still better than the fascist option.

There are stories emerging that Putin may have overplayed his hand domestically in invading his democratic neighbour, and it might yet end badly for him. Should he go the subsequent power vacuum will be messy, but maybe a friendlier Russia will come out the other side. Until he is gone there will be Russian agencies trying to influence Western politics to their own ends. In 2014 that may have included breaking up the UK. In 2022 that would be pointless. Putin has had his success and the UK has neutered itself, becoming something of a joke state. The far right might not have come directly to power, but their continuing influence on tory policy, and the vile attitudes of many of their MPs, ensures the UK is globally irrelevant.

All of which leave Scottish Independence as a more attractive, and necessary, option than ever. Putin's useful idiots are the fanatical brexshiteers, howling at the EU moon. If they don't care about the possibility of reigniting war in Ireland they're not going to care much about some Eastern Europeans, are they? The break up of the UK could now be seen as a positive anti-Putin action, helping the further decline of a state where the government has embroiled itself in Russian money. Bring it on.

Throwing rocks isn't helpful

 

FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO DO WITH YOUR ROCKS

Someone has put up an edifice you don't like.  Although it's intended to help others, you feel threatened by it.  In your head all you can see are scenarios in which the edifice impacts your life, in a bad way, and you don't like that.

You have a pile of rocks.  Could your rocks help resolve your fears?  You have two choices.

You can throw the rocks at the edifice, and try to knock it down.

Or you can try to find out why someone thought the edifice was important enough to build, then use your rocks to help improve it, or to build a newer, better edifice, that gives the help needed and doesn't scare you.

When the voting franchise was extended to men without property, there were people throwing rocks.

When it was extended further to include women, there were people throwing rocks.

When homosexuality was legalised, there were people throwing rocks.

When equal pay for women was established, there were people throwing rocks.

When same sex civil partnerships came in, there were people throwing rocks.

The people throwing rocks weren't always the same people, but they were always people whose position in our social structures had been normalised, and felt that position to be threatened by giving rights to people who didn't have them.

I've very consciously kept my distance from the debates going on around the Gender Recognition Act.  It's far too complex and nuanced a subject for social media.  But I do see plenty of others who feel less restrained.  And an awful lot of them are throwing rocks.  Couldn't they find a better use for them?

It's Not Over Yet

 YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE

When you've been with someone a long time it gets harder to buy presents that surprise them, or meet a need.  So for Xmas 2019 we decided we both had plenty 'stuff', so instead of even more 'stuff' we'd buy a joint present that didn't add to the clutter of an already cluttered home.  Since we both like going to gigs we decided that tickets would be the best answer, but in a new venue, away from home.

That ended with a trip to Dublin in January 2020, to see the great Christy Moore perform at Vicar St.  Great gig, great experience, and we decided that this was the future of the Crawford Xmas.  How wrong we were.  Ten weeks later the first lockdown came and a gig in Edinburgh on the eleventh of March would prove to be our last of the year.  Xmas 2020 came and it was back to the 'stuff' again, because where could you book with any degree of certainty?

But it looked like being better this time around so, cautiously, we booked to go somewhere not too far away this time.  Tonight is the night for our Xmas gig in Newcastle.  Wasn't it?  Because this just happened...

That's me on the left.  Sadly Barbara came up positive, and trying again produced the same result.  So no trip for us today.  And I'm wondering how much live entertainment we will end up getting to see this year, because the record hasn't been good so far.  

My first outing of the year should have been to Murrayfield on the second of January to see Edinburgh take on Glasgow, with another match, this time against Cardiff, on the eighth.  Both of which fell within the period of the mini-lockdown we had at the turn of the year, meaning sports events were played behind closed doors.  (For once covid provided a silver lining when there was an outbreak in the Glasgow squad and the match has had to be postponed, so maybe I'll get to see that one.)  I did get to the next match, against Brive, on the twenty first.  So that's one.

We had booked five gigs through in Glasgow during the Celtic Connections festival.  One vanished quite early on, US musicians deciding not to come across.  Then another went, for 'covid-related' reasons.  Then another.  In the end we got to see two, moved to larger, socially distanced rooms, but at least they went ahead.  And reminded us how much we miss live music.

There are at least five more rugby matches to go to this season.  And the calendar shows a further five gigs.  Three of them have been rearranged from previous cancellations - one of them five times already.  All bar one are local events.  The first is two weeks from tomorrow.  Maybe.  Who knows what comes next? 

On the plus side, staying at home means more time with this ageing lady, who's not been too well recently.  Which might be a subject for a future post.

What quality is most essential to be a decent human being?

 HAVE YOU GO IT?

As a society we are becoming more polarised in our views.  This has become increasingly true over the past forty or so years, and is now reaching worrying levels.  The old 

left vs right has spread into pro and anti EU, pro and anti Indy, pro and anti abortion, pro and anti vaccines, etc etc.  Whilst the dividing lines are blurred, it seems true that many of those in 'anti' categories will fall into the whole group of them.  Then there's criticism of the media, with the left seeing the BBC as a tory government mouthpiece, and the right saying that is too much influenced by progressive causes.  Here in Scotland Indy supporters feel the media is against them, but then so do the unionists!

Increasingly I find there's one word that seems to determine if people fall to one side of the arguments, or the other.  That word is empathy.  And nothing demonstrated that divide quite like one of the most important public demonstrations of last year, the Kenmure Street Protest in May.  

If you're unfamiliar with the incident, and haven't got time to follow the link, it happened when a Home Office immigration van tried to remove two Sikh men from their home in Glasgow because of alleged immigration offences.  The men were long standing members of the local community, and those neighbours rallied round in numbers, and alerted activist organisations, so that the immigration officers found their van locked in place by a huge, and ever growing, crowd of people determined not to let these men be taken away.  The police were called, and eventually they advised the release of the men.  The van went without them.

Reactions were split, each side vehement that they had right on their side.  The SNP, Labour and Greens all commended the humanitarian response of the locals.  The tories condemned the action for breaking the law.  But if it's bad law, and badly implemented too, who's to say what's right?

Ultimately your personal response to these events came down to the word I used above.  Empathetic people were able to place themselves in the position of these poor men, being dragged away from everything they new, without warning, early in the morning.  Others saw it in more black and white terms, without considering any of the human aspects.  

Which side were you on?  Do you have empathy or not?  I'm very much on the side of the protestors.

Being Trusted

 TRUST

I've been a Volunteer Advocacy Worker for about six years now, and have become one of the more senior among the group.  The 'job' is rewarding, frustrating, educational, confusing, demanding, funny, sad, inspiring, gut wrenching, worrying, hilarious and weird, all rolled into one.  Varied too.  I have met some very interesting people, some very baffling people, the odd slightly threatening person.  I have tried to help people deal with problems with housing, benefits, doctors, dentists, lawyers, family, psychiatrists, social workers, the council and many more.  I've learned the difference between post natal depression and post partum psychosis, which is something I never ever anticipated happening!  And I've learned to deal with what's thrown at me, find out where I don't know, rely on others and rely on my own ability to relate to people.It's never dull.

But the one aspect of the work that always amazes me, and, I hope, always will, is how quickly so many vulnerable people are able to trust me with very intimate details of their lives.  In part it's because they have come for help, and that Advocard, as an organisation, strives to maintain a strong reputation for being independent and willing to give what assistance they can through advocacy.  In part it may reflect how desperate many of the people we see are.  And I hoper a part of it is that, with all the practice I've had, I have developed ways of making people feel at ease.  But even taking these things into account it is still incredible that within fifteen or twenty minutes of meeting this total stranger they are able to talk about problems they have going to the toilet, or lacking the motivation to wash for days on end, or if they have recently felt suicidal - all subjects I have to ask about if I'm helping them prepare for a benefits assessment (and don't get me started on how inhumane that bloody system is now...).

Trust.  It's never easy to give it to anyone.  Less so to someone you've met for the first time a few minutes ago.  Not everyone does, and with some it's a long battle to win that precious commodity.  But so many do, and that is, with apologies for the cliche, consistently humbling.  I'm very lucky.

Change would be good - but not for the worse

 THE LEAST WORST OPTION

I would like to see an end to SNP government.  The party has been in power for too long, and is now looking and sounding stale, with too many stories of corruption and incompetence surfacing.  But.  If there was an election tomorrow I'd still be voting for them.  Why?

Two main reasons.  The first is obvious.  If, as I do, you believe in the benefits of Scotland becoming independent from the UK, and the increasing urgency of doing so, then the SNP are still the only really credible electoral show in town.  I might prefer to vote Green, but doing so might just lose a constituency seat to a unionist, so it isn't worth the risk.  They can have my list vote, my local authority vote, but for seats in either parliament there are bigger stakes.  (Of course if we had the much fairer Single Transferable Vote system in place for parliamentary seats, as we do at council level, it would be a different story, making it much easier to vote for exactly who you want.)  Alba have yet to show any real campaigning strength, so they can't be considered yet.

The second reason concerns those bigger stakes.  For more than four decades I have despised the Tories and what they do to ordinary people, and have always voted tactically to try to keep them out.  In the constituencies I lived in down south that meant Lib Dem.  Here we have other options.  But is there a realistic option to the SNP?

No party is perfect, no party has policies with which anyone, even party members, agrees 100%.  So we vote for the best fit for our priorities.  Often that means voting for the least worst option, rather than the best.  And this is what it comes down to.  The SNP might not be the party it once was, but is there a better option?  

I've asked unionists on Twitter (that well know source of rational opinion...) what the credible alternative Scottish Government is.  Answers, if given, tend to be vague, coy.  These are mostly right wingers,    Outside of the right wing bubble, the Tories remain what they've been since Thatcher's time - the most divisive and disliked party in the country.  The branch manager, and the Borders MP who is allegedly Secretary of State for Scotland, are ciphers, devoid of any bite or ideas.  And hamstrung by the failure, nepotism and general malfeasance of their masters.  Labour might have their best national leader in some time (they've been through enough of them in the past few years), but are also hamstrung by their London bosses.  What sort of Labour Party is it than can contemplate expelling the great Ken Loach?  As for the Lib Dems... choosing a vile misogynist who seems to be trying out-evil the Tories seems like a route to oblivion.

The SNP commitment to Indy can reasonably called into doubt, but for now they remain the most likely vehicle.  But even if that major issue were discounted, I can't see who would actually do a better job.  The least worst option remains the only choice.