Tuesday 30 December 2014

Children should be seen and not heard?

THE KIDS FESTIVAL?  SOMETIMES....
My last post, harking back to events in August, reminded me of another thought I had at that time and it still feels worth sharing.
Anyone who knows me well will be aware of my paedophobic tendencies.  I have spent most of my life trying, where possible, to avoid the company of small children (or even large ones).  They simply make me feel uneasy, that's all, in much the same way dogs or cats or spiders do to other people.  So I certainly don't pretend to be an expert of the subject of bringing them up.
But, despite this, I did notice that the Edinburgh Fringe seems to be catering for the needs, and entertainment, of children more and more.  This year there seemed to be far more shows advertised that were aimed at a younger audience, and lots of street acts too.  It would seem easy to find something for your child to enjoy, and the Fringe is making itself as family friendly as possible.
Although even I can see that there must be some limitations.  Making your way through densely packed streets is sometimes bad enough for someone my size, so I imagine it might hold occasional moments of terror if you're only two feet tall.  If you're going to 'do' the Fringe than you have to be willing to brave the tidal flows of Festival-goers in their many thousands.
Some adapt to this in their own way.  I have heard a comedian tell of, and seen for myself, parents who use their pram/pushchair as a form of weapon, a battering ram to carve a path through the hordes, expecting that people will fall aside when confronted with the magic they wield.  Like I said, I'm no expert, but is that approach in any of the myriad childcare manuals?
Of course the parents have come to Edinburgh to enjoy a bit of culture themselves, not just to see their kids entertained, so they want to see something a bit more grown up than three puppets in a plastic boat.  But where do you find child care in a city that's in the throws of hedonism?  This is not a question some of them seem to have asked before they turn up.  Which brings me to the two incidents which inspired this wee rant.
Phill Jupitus is a bit of a TV star now, but began as a street poet, and each year at the Fringe he reincarnates himself as Porky the Poet.  Although it's on around five o'clock it is emphatically not a kids show.  It isn't advertised as such, there are no grounds for suspecting that it might be.  So when a couple brought their twelve year old along and plonked themselves down in the front row it wasn't quite what Mr J was expecting. He was, as you'd expect, pretty decent about it.  He asked the kid how old he was, he asked the parents if they knew what kind of show he was about to deliver, he gave every kind of hint you might ask for.  When there was no sign of them moving he told the kid he'd be learning some new words and concepts that none of his schoolmates would know about yet.  And still they insisted on saying.
Personally I'm glad they did. Because Porky then proceeding to rip the piss out of said parents at frequent intervals during the following hour.  Which he seemed to enjoy, and the rest of the audience did, and maybe even the kid.  Well, the bits he understood.  As for the parents?  Who cares....
Our final Fringe show of 2014 was a Glasgow comedian called Janey Godley.  If you don't know here then check her stuff on YouTube.  Very funny.  And very sweary.  The show was just getting going when a woman came to the door with a small child.  Janey went over, told her this wasn't a good idea, and she had the sense to recognise the wisdom in this and turned back.  Which prompted Ms Godley to relate the tale of a less readily convinced punter she'd had in a few days earlier.
Two parents with a small girl.  Janey did the same as above, went over and explained that this really wasn't a show that was suitable for children.  The parents argued that it was up to them as they'd paid for their tickets.  The Godley voiced was raised in volume so that all could hear. "Why would you want to bring in a wee kid in to see a woman who says 'cunt' a lot?"
They got the point.  They left.  Now that's my kind of show.

Saturday 27 December 2014

Not the 2014 Review it should be

IT'S REVIEW TIME, ISN'T IT?

This is the time of year when world, dog, and dog's granny are all looking back at the preceding twelve months and attempting to crowbar some sense of order and narrative on to their own randomised lives and the mixed up storyline that is humanity.  And this isn't one of those.  It is, however, a review, even if a little on the late side.

Last year I posted a list of my favourite ten shows from the 2013 Edinburgh Fringe.  I did so about four weeks after my city had sighed it's relief at the annual ending of the world's largest arts festival.  Sufficient time had passed to give me some perspective on what I'd seen, near enough for it still to have some sense of relevance.

This year I had, really, intended to do the same.  But (insert your own choice of lame, half-arsed excuse here) and that's why it didn't get done at the time.  However, never let it be said I don't deliver eventually, despite my Adamsesque attitude to deadlines.  Better late than never?  Probably not, but here it is anyway.

As with last year's effort, I present these in no particular order.  We managed to see sixty shows in little more than three weeks, and trying to reduce that to a favoured ten was hard enough without trying to pretend that one was better than another.  I'll start with the acts who made this list last year.  There were six we saw again, three are back here this time, and I'll begin with the same man I did last September.

Cuckooed is a one man drama telling a tale of treachery, espionage, and the exercise of naked power.  It shows Britain's largest arms manufacturer, BAE, spying on a small group of activists who are trying to bring said company's disdain for human rights to the attention of a wider world.  The cuckoo in question is an old friend of most of the activists who has been bribed into betraying his fellows.  The one man telling the tale is, of course, Mark Thomas.  Which means that the show is slick, the narrative compelling and fast paced, the emotions often raw, and frequently hysterically funny.  Particularly mention has to be made of the staging, which sees various talking heads pop out of filing cabinets on screens to give their side of the story.  Very effective.  Thomas is an astonishing stage presence and never fails to be both informative and hilarious.

Jennifer Williams was one of my favourite discoveries of 2013 and she was back again with another one woman performance (assisted, in the background, by her brother providing music and sound) and another quirky story to tell.  The Cold Clear Elsewhere is based on factual events and tells of Grace, an Australian war bride, who married a British sailor, and eventually sailed half way across the world to start a new life with a man she could, by then, hardly remember.  With a few props Jennifer creates several scenes in differing places and times, her acting skills well up to playing a wide variety of characters along the way, yet never leaving the audience in doubt about who they were watching, or where, or when.  By the end it was hard to believe that an hour had passed, so absorbed had I been in the action.  It was a shame that this was probably the smallest audience I was part of all month, only just breaking double figures, and I hope she can find her way into a more central venue next year.

And finally, in my repeat trio, Mr Aidan Goatley.  Once again he performed 10 Films With My Dad, and my comments of last year still stand on second viewing.  There was also 11 Films to Happiness (there may be a theme here....) which was equally entertaining, silly, charming, funny and simply enjoyable.  Aidan is just such a lovely, lovely man that it's hard to imagine him not being fun to watch.

In "10 Films" Mr G has roped in a few of his mates to help with some of the cinematic sequences in his show, and we went to see one of said mates doing his own stand-up thing.  Oft times there can be a sense of disappointment at seeing a comedian live after seeing him or her on the telly.  This man had been on Mock the Week, but I wasn't going to hold that against him.  Romesh Ranganathan is Funny.  You know the kind of comedy where you come out unable to repeat a single joke and barely remember what it was all about, except that your chest hurts because there was hardly a second when you weren't laughing?  The sort of comedy where you have to remind yourself to keep breathing?  That's Mr R.

Oh, and he helped make my night, albeit indirectly. He asked me if I thought I was a good husband.  I suggested I wasn't the person to judge and that he ask Barbara sat next to me, so she was requested to give me marks out of ten.  And there am I thinking "Maybe a five?  A six would be good....".  And she say "Eight and half".  Eight and a bloody half!!  I'm still not sure what I've done to deserve anything that good, but I'm not about to forget it (or remind her when it seems 'appropriate').

Another stand up comedian, of sorts.  An American in a weird, scarlet, bulbous onesie who worked his audience into the act.  If you don't like participation then this wasn't for you.  It was teasing, testing, terrifying, timeless.  If at times it verged too far towards the simplistics of the Self Help 'Industry' it fully redeemed itself with the opportunities it provided for thought and the sheer funniness of the words and actions on stage.  The show is called Red Bastard and I will say no more, for it is something you have to experience to understand.  Would I go back?  Maybe....

Away from the stand up, but sticking with comedy, Austentatious is certainly an act you easily view several times, for every performance is different.  Six actors improvise a comedy drama based on title suggestions from the audience, all in the style of Jane Austen.  That could so easily go wrong, but these guys all know each other so well, and have such a great sense of timing, that the result is laughter making throughout (sometimes for the cast as much as the audience, the corpsing serving to make the performance even funnier).  I'll be back.

Another comedy drama, Spilt Decision, but scripted this time.  Partly in verse, which highlighted the unreality of the action and the satirical intent.  The characters portray a drunken husband, a domineering wife and a non-combatant marriage counsellor.  The battle lines are clearly drawn and the script, written by local comedian Keir McAllister, wears it's heart proudly on it's sleeve.  With the sharp end of that heart pointing strongly towards a Yes vote in the then upcoming Scottish Independence Referendum.  I can't tell you what it would have been like for a neutral, or even a No supporter, but they were preaching to the utterly converted in me and I enjoyed it hugely.

Three to go, and I'm going to cheat a wee bit.  This event was advertised in the Fringe programme, but was also selling tickets as an independent theatre event.  It was also held outside Edinburgh, in adjoining Musselburgh, so I'm stretching the definition a bit.  This was a last minute decision too.  We'd had tickets to see James Rhodes (one day, one day), but illness had forced him to cancel at short notice.  Was there a music gig that would replace it?  Cue mad phone calls to get tickets and we were off to the far East (Lothian) that evening.

It's been a few years since I last saw Blazin' Fiddles and the line up had changed considerably, but the format remains the same.  A rhythm section of guitar and keyboard, and four of Scotland's best fiddle players up front.  Some fabulous music, some terrible jokes and a lot of silliness.  Best of all, sheer energy coming off the stage and infecting the watching crowd.  The line up kept changing, with solos and duos and trios, and then the full band again.  There was virtuosity and sheer bloody joy out there.  Impossible to leave without a grin.

Even more of a cheat for this one, for two reasons.  The event was in the International Festival itself, not the Fringe.  And it was actually three events, but as an experience deserves to be treated as one.  You may have read about (or even seen) the James plays.  Three new works, each based on the lives of the first three kings of Scotland called James.  We saw all three in the one day, enjoying the sense of continuity and overriding narrative that opportunity provided.  All three made powerful individual statements, with James 1 the most complete as a drama, 2 it's slightly weaker cousin, and 3 falling somewhere in between.  The presentation of 3 in a more modern setting took some getting used to, and the first half was more 2 than 1 in dialogue quality.  But the second half saw Sofie Grabol, of Killing fame, deliver an astonishingly powerful and commanding performance which demanded that Scots and Scotland take a good hard look at themselves.  Historic, important, unforgettable.

And finally.  Not necessarily the funniest, or cleverest, or most dramatic show I saw, but perhaps the most memorable.  Have you ever heard of Tourettes Hero?  If not then shame on you, because you should.  Jess Thom has tourettes, which makes her say Biscuit rather more often than you'd hear it said after spending a day in McVities.  Penguins and hedgehogs feature on a regular basis.  And she hits her chest a lot.  All of this is, of course, involuntary and a by-product of her condition.  A much misunderstood condition and Jess has made it her role in life to dispel the myths and encourage understanding as much as one person can.  And she's very, very good at it.  So much so that she created a stage show to show to anyone who cared to come along to see what tourettes involved, how it affected her life, and just what an instinctively funny person she is.

The show was called Backstage in Biscuit Land and in it Jess, aided by an excellent actress also named Jess, tells us what having tourettes is like for her and those involved in her life, how the wider world sometimes reacts and what that feels like for her.  All the while making the whole explanation wildly entertaining.  Unpredictably so for all concerned because, as she explains at the start, her condition makes her incapable of sticking to a script, and some of the unplanned outbursts are even funnier than the original lines.  (Plus, at the show we were at, she had a couple of friends with tourettes in the audience, and one of them added some great punch lines of his own!)  Simply lovely.

And that's it, out of my system at last.  Still not sure how I've been forced to leave out Jo Caulfield, Chris Coltrane, The Nualas, Bruce Fummey....

Maybe next year I'll be back to doing this in September?

Thursday 25 December 2014

'Twas the move before Xmas

THE WRONG WAY TO MOVE
No, this isn't about my attempts to dance at a Xmas night out.
It's been several weeks since I last posted anything here and that has almost entirely been down to one thing - we've been moving home.  Again.  It's said to be an experience almost on a par with bereavement for stress levels. That always sound a bit OTT to me, but it certainly isn't one of the more relaxing ways to pass the time.
But we thought we had a way to make life easier for ourselves, take some of the pain out of the process, give ourselves a bit of time.  For reasons I won't go into here we were in the unusual situation of being able to stay in our old flat for a while after we had been given the keys to the new one.  So, we thought, let's do a staged move, and not actually settle into our new home until it's been made habitable.  They're little more than a mile apart, so shuffling back and forward won't even take much time. Will it?
And now, one month on, I can give you a solid recommendation should you ever find yourself in a similar position:
DON'T
DO
IT
Just don't. Go on the traditional path of enduring one day of extreme harassment followed by days and days of living amongst the boxes.  In the end it will be quicker and less effort, and you won't look like total plonkers to the rest of the word.  Trust me.
We'd bought the flat fully furnished (that too is another story....) and spent the first three days rearranging the items we were keeping and moving most of the others down to the garage. Day four and our old stuff arrived from storage where it had dwelt these past four months. An episode straight from a seventies sitcom (with me as Terry Scott) as we tried to remembered why we'd wanted to keep all these....things. Endless things of limited use was how it appeared. More things to stick into that garage.
So we now had an overstuffed flat that looked more warehouse than penthouse. Ah, but we had that 'luxury' of not having to move in and live amongst the cardboard, did we not?  And therein lies the problem.  Because instead of working every available hour to make the place habitable we'd wake up somewhere that already was, and return there in the evening.  And there would still be food shopping to do, meals to make, a social life to lead (why not?).
So the days passed in this fashion. Empty a few boxes, fill up the wardrobes, move furniture around, return home ('home'?) weary and ready to eat, watch TV and have a good sleep. And maybe a lie in, since it was tempting to do so. Progress was slow.  But then the moment arrived when the decision had to be made about actually 'moving in'.  Prompted by that most essential element of modern life - when the broadband account switched properties.  Suddenly it doesn't feel like home any more without a fast internet connection....
Which means moving all those bits and pieces that made one home feel like home into the other home to make that feel like home, so that the first home wouldn't be home any more, which it wasn't without that broadband connection, even if I (there were a few days when I was left to my own devices) was still sleeping in the home that wasn't any more.  I think.
No vans this time, no strapping young men to shift the heavy stuff, just a hatchback and us. And a new block of flats that has a lot of doors and distance to cross.  There's nothing like a suitcase/box obstacle course to improve the temper.  That operation began about, oh, six months ago maybe.  Or is it really just six days?  A short drive across, yes, but why has it come to feel like a commute?
But we are in, and have slept here. Several times.  There is still more 'stuff' to come, but if we live without it for long enough maybe it will fade away from memory.  There is, just like in a normal move, one room decorated with wall to wall cardboard boxes, so there was no advantage there either  In fact the only positive I can come up with isn't for us, but for any neighbours who might have chanced to watch.  (Not that I've seen any net curtains twitching, it's not that sort of neighbourhood.)  They may have enjoyed a few comedy moments from two not-so-young people trying to move cases and boxes and oddly shaped items through rain and wind - carrying back the empty boxes for another load is a particularly good way of turning into a Marcel Marceau impression of a rudderless Cutty Sark.
And that's how not to do it.
But at least I can start blogging again.