I will not walk 500 miles

THE 11K CASUALTY

Before the lockdown, before the virus did or did not hit me, I was managing to record a minimum of 11k steps on the wee step counter thingummy on my right wrist. The app told me I'd been doing that for a streak of 267 days in a row. It doesn't really tell me how fast or slow I did it, whether I put any bloody effort in or not, but at least I did... something.

And then the bug came, complete with 14 days self isolation, and, at least to start with, a shortness of breath that sometimes had me pausing half way up the one flight of stairs in the flat. Suddenly it was a struggle to crack 2k and the only records I was setting were for hours of body in bed and arse on sofa. As I started to feeling a bit better I got into the habit of walking aimlessly up and down the hall, just to see if I could get my step count up. (You ask why? What else is there to do...) And I'd be smashing through the giddy 4k barrier. Once I even passed double that, but only because I was trying to do a clear out of my jeans and trousers (and no, I'm not going to explain how that could result in my walking so far inside a not exactly vast space).

Now I'm allowed out again. But under the strict guidelines of course. Shopping trips were needed on the first two days, simply to restock the depleted cupboards, fridge and freezer. Without even thinking about it I suddenly found I was back over 11k. But today was just a going out for a bit of exercise day, and to make the target number almost half of the steps had to be done indoors. I made it. Just. That's a triumphant 3 day streak. But how many more days can I do this? Tracks are appearing in the carpets. The scenery is unchanging. And the inevitable comparison to a caged animal only falls down because most animals in cages manage to move a lot more elegantly than my gawky frame is capable of.

The streak, methinks, will not last long. As for thinking about Kiltwalk later in the year... I may have to accept that the arse/sofa interface will become a dominant factor in my life. We all have to #StayAtHome.