Tuesday, 16 March 2021

Easily impressed? - Childhood memories

 


WHERE THAT PLACE USED TO BE

The combination of prompt from my 365 project, asking me to think about a place from my childhood that is now long gone, and the recent news that the Jenners department store is to close, has dragged me off into a roomful of childhood memories.  Jenners, for readers not from Edinburgh, is, was, a big department store on Princes Street, across from the Scott Monument and just a short walk from Waverley Station.  Jenners was THE department store, Scotland's equivalent of Harrods I suppose, and is the last to fall of the big shops I recall from growing up in the city during the sixties, the places that were major players in the city centre retail sector of the period.

It's no surprise that Jenners will be gone.  Even without the impact that covid has had on shops the demise of the department store was already well under way.  John Lewis may, or may not, carry on once the doors reopen, but it has always been the new kid in town, and plays no part in the memories of the time I'm taking myself back to.  What follows is largely written from my memories of the period, so it's an unreliable memoir, but there were a couple of facts that I checked up on, one of which came as a big surprise.

Little Blyth remembers six of these behemoth stores in and around the Old and New Towns.  But I'll begin with an honourable mention with an out of towner, because it ties in well with the place I'll be concluding with.  There was a big Co-op department store in Leith, on Great Junction Street, where I recall being taken for my school uniform sometimes.  Two technological marvels fascinated my wee boy self.  The x-ray machine I put my feet in to see if shoes fitted correctly.  And, best of all and a performance I could have watched for hours if I hadn't been dragged protestingly away, the pneumatic tube system that whooshed off the money my mother had handed over to the salesperson, and returned with change and receipt.  Like magic to a six year old.

But back to town.  Jenners was always top of the pile, and far too pricey for a young working class family to frequent.  With two annual exceptions.  In the run up to xmas we'd go in, not to buy, but look in wonder at the central floor space where stood an enormous xmas tree, flashily decorated, extending up and up through the surrounding galleries, topping out around the second or third floor.  There was nothing else quite like it (and this was long before the trashy commercialisation of "Edinburgh's Christmas" we've now got and which I'm grateful to covid for sparing us this time round).  The second visit came after the festivities, and the bargain hunting opportunities of the January Sales.  I'm sure I received some late presents via that route...

A block along from Jenners, similarly placed on the eastern corner, was Forsyth's not quite as big, not quite as grand.  I have no real memories of the place, except it was always known as "Big Forsyths", to distinguish it from "Wee Forsyths", a (mens?) clothes shop a few doors away and a totally different company.  Completing the Princes Street trio was Binns, at the West End.  In 1961, like Jenners and Forsyths to the eastern end of the street, it was handily placed for a train station, the old Caley station that fell in the Beeching cuts a few years later.  Binns was mostly famous as a meeting place, specifically under the clock, as a handy landmark where you could arrange to hook up with friends.  "See you at Binns" was a common phrase at the time.  It was Frasers department store until fairly recently (but always 'Binns' to those of a more mature years), and it's lovely to see that the current restoration is bringing back the clock.  It's to be a Johnny Walker Whisky Experience centre I think - whatever that is.

Two of my remembered shops were on The Bridges, the road that leads up to the old town across the top of Waverley.  Patrick Thomson was never know as such, but simply called PTs.  It occupied most (all?) of the eastern side of North Bridge, a huge sprawling place which, again, I recall little about.  My main memory is buying coffee there (my parents favoured Blue Mountain mostly) in the early seventies.  Further up the road, on the South Bridge corner of Chambers Street, was the place which provided the aforementioned surprise.  My memory tells me there was a department store there called J&R Allan, and that it had the best food hall in the city.  Google tells me that Allans closed down in 1953, three years before my birth.  So what am I remembering?  Was it a different shop which was as Frasers was to Binns - everybody still used the old name, no matter what it had become?  Or is there some bit of information I'm missing?  Who cares?

Finally (yes, finally) the department store memory that prompted this whole stream of recollections.  All of the above were very traditional places, old fashioned even then, with formal Victorian and Edwardian facades.  But in 1960, if you walked out of Binns and walked up Lothian Road to Tollcross, you could find the alien spaceship of department stores.  Goldbergs, set well back from the road, looked so so different to anything else in town.  The huge frontal glass area was a beautiful, brutal counterpoint to the stuffy establishment, with dramatic sculptures to each side of that wall of light.  I don't recall what my parents might have bought there, and I imagine that the goods on sale weren't all that different to those in the places mentioned above.  What I do remember was the technological wonder that surprised and delighted an easily impressed kid.  Moving stairs.  Escalators.  It was like entering the future.  And this was before we had Doctor Who!  Simpler times.

The Goldbergs building was demolished in the nineties.  There's a big block of flats there now, with a restaurant at the front where the steps up to the big glass front doors would have been.  But oftimes when I see that block from the Tollcross junction I find I have Goldbergs in my head, and my child self who marvelled at being able to stand on stairs that carried me to the next level.  Escalators don't impress me nowadays, but surprising technology still does, so maybe that wee boy remains within.


Wednesday, 3 March 2021

Truly Sadly Weepy

 



NEEDS INTRO ABOUT COMING FROM 365!!!  AND THEN EDIT POST

A recent 365 Project prompt told me to watch a movie that makes me cry, and then write about the tear-jerking scene.  A seemingly simple task, but I struggled to think which films would definitely render me lachrymose.  It had to be one that I remembered making me tearful, but hadn't seen so often, or so recently, that the desired result would be lacking.  

It must be a couple of decades since I last watched Truly, Madly, Deeply, so there was an element of risk in my choice.  What if it didn't work on me the way it once had?  What if I'd misremembered how sad it was (and I am only too aware of how unreliable my memory is at times...)?  What if there were no tears?

I needn't have worried.  It remains as powerfully emotional (and emotionally manipulative!) as it felt twenty plus years ago.  The prompt suggests I write about 'the' scene that made me cry.  But there were at least six moments that brought tears into my eyes, from the first few minutes right through to the closing moments.  It as convincing a portrayal of grief, and eventual redemption, as I can recall.

But first a brief synopsis for anyone reading this and unfamiliar with the movie.  A 1990 film, set in contemporary London, starring Juliet Stevenson as Nina and Alan Rickman as Jamie.  Nina is grieving, to the exclusion of all else in life, the death of her partner, Jamie.  Neither her therapist or concerned friends and family can bring her out of her self pitying state.  Jamie suddenly returns, as a ghost, and lives with her, which restores Nina to life.  But there are frustrations to living with a dead person, she meets a good man but is unable to commit, until she can accept it's time to say goodbye and move on.  Classic tear-jerker territory, but raised above the risk of melodrama by brilliant performances and an excellent script.  And it's often as funny as it is sad.

In one of the earliest scenes Nina is about to leave her office, but is held back by boss Sandy (Bill Paterson).  He comments on her behaviour, wants her to come for drinks with the crowd, clearly cares about her a lot.  And she shuffles out of the door, unable to explain, unable to deal with the kindness, finding sadness the easier option.  It was easy to imagine feeling the same way in those circumstances, and empathy is a powerful emotional string puller.

At her therapist Nina is in full on blub mode, tears, snot, crumpled face, angry with everyone and everything and Jamie more that anyone else.  Who could resist the power of that face?  It is where we do not want to be.  She admits to hearing his voice, constantly, telling her to get on with the mundane acts of her life, like locking the back door at night.  A presence both there and not there.  

Then Jamie comes back into her life.  She is playing piano, hears a cello accompaniment and smiles at the memory.  Except that the strings continue when the keys cease to sound.  We see Jamie in the background, and, turning round, so does Nina.  It is a moment of disbelief, of joy at reconnection, of grief at knowing that this cannot be real.  And yet it is, he is solid (albeit constantly cold) yet certainly dead.  And she can wallow in something more joyful at last.

All of these pile one on another in the first thirty minutes, but my other welling up moments come towards the end of the film.  Goodbyes and new beginnings.  The most moving moment of all (and one which has brought the tears out as I recall it) sees Jamie reciting a poem in Spanish, with Nina translating each one into English as he proceeds.  It is an excerpt from La Muerta (The Dead Woman) by the great Chilean, Pablo Neruda, and each successive line becomes harder for Nina to relate as she builds towards another flood of tears, this time in Jamie's (dead) arms.

The final lines of the verse are

"my feet will want to march

to where you are sleeping

but I shall go on living"

- my bottom lip trembled, my own tears joined Juliet's, and it was clear that this moment was pivotal, was the chance for her to finally accept the life she had, leaving the one now lost to her.

My final two moments were less dramatic, less emotionally draining, for the tears were part happiness now.  When Mark (Michael Maloney) persuades her to talk about the barrier she has put up, and shows his understanding of her situation, it feels like a release.  And the closing moments, when Mark comes to collect her from that 'terrible flat' and in the window stands Jamie, sad/happy to see her go, surrounded by his dead mates who all wave the couple off into the night.  

Letting go, accepting loss, returning to real life, are bittersweet moments in life.  My tears were for Nina and Jamie, and Mark, and all the people who have to pass through such moments in their lives - which means all of us.  And for myself, for I am incapable of watching, or reading about, such situations without imagining myself placed in them and wondering how I'd react.  As Nina and Mark and even as Jamie (except I can't play the cello...).  It's a tribute to Stevenson and the late Rickman, and to writer and director Anthony Minghella, that there were times when the emotions felt as real to me as they did to the characters.  Experiencing these moments by proxy flexes our emotional muscles without risk, reminds us what it means to be human.  That's what stories are for.


(Footnote.  I had completely  forgotten the poetry scene, and the strange coincidence it brought forth.  My final choice of weepy movie lay between TMD and Il Postino, in which one of the central characters is a fictionalised version of Neruda.)