Truly Sadly Weepy

 

NEEDS INTRO ABOUT COMING FROM 365!!!  AND THEN EDIT POST

A recent 365 Project prompt told me to watch a movie that makes me cry, and then write about the tear-jerking scene.  A seemingly simple task, but I struggled to think which films would definitely render me lachrymose.  It had to be one that I remembered making me tearful, but hadn't seen so often, or so recently, that the desired result would be lacking.  

It must be a couple of decades since I last watched Truly, Madly, Deeply, so there was an element of risk in my choice.  What if it didn't work on me the way it once had?  What if I'd misremembered how sad it was (and I am only too aware of how unreliable my memory is at times...)?  What if there were no tears?

I needn't have worried.  It remains as powerfully emotional (and emotionally manipulative!) as it felt twenty plus years ago.  The prompt suggests I write about 'the' scene that made me cry.  But there were at least six moments that brought tears into my eyes, from the first few minutes right through to the closing moments.  It as convincing a portrayal of grief, and eventual redemption, as I can recall.

But first a brief synopsis for anyone reading this and unfamiliar with the movie.  A 1990 film, set in contemporary London, starring Juliet Stevenson as Nina and Alan Rickman as Jamie.  Nina is grieving, to the exclusion of all else in life, the death of her partner, Jamie.  Neither her therapist or concerned friends and family can bring her out of her self pitying state.  Jamie suddenly returns, as a ghost, and lives with her, which restores Nina to life.  But there are frustrations to living with a dead person, she meets a good man but is unable to commit, until she can accept it's time to say goodbye and move on.  Classic tear-jerker territory, but raised above the risk of melodrama by brilliant performances and an excellent script.  And it's often as funny as it is sad.

In one of the earliest scenes Nina is about to leave her office, but is held back by boss Sandy (Bill Paterson).  He comments on her behaviour, wants her to come for drinks with the crowd, clearly cares about her a lot.  And she shuffles out of the door, unable to explain, unable to deal with the kindness, finding sadness the easier option.  It was easy to imagine feeling the same way in those circumstances, and empathy is a powerful emotional string puller.

At her therapist Nina is in full on blub mode, tears, snot, crumpled face, angry with everyone and everything and Jamie more that anyone else.  Who could resist the power of that face?  It is where we do not want to be.  She admits to hearing his voice, constantly, telling her to get on with the mundane acts of her life, like locking the back door at night.  A presence both there and not there.  

Then Jamie comes back into her life.  She is playing piano, hears a cello accompaniment and smiles at the memory.  Except that the strings continue when the keys cease to sound.  We see Jamie in the background, and, turning round, so does Nina.  It is a moment of disbelief, of joy at reconnection, of grief at knowing that this cannot be real.  And yet it is, he is solid (albeit constantly cold) yet certainly dead.  And she can wallow in something more joyful at last.

All of these pile one on another in the first thirty minutes, but my other welling up moments come towards the end of the film.  Goodbyes and new beginnings.  The most moving moment of all (and one which has brought the tears out as I recall it) sees Jamie reciting a poem in Spanish, with Nina translating each one into English as he proceeds.  It is an excerpt from La Muerta (The Dead Woman) by the great Chilean, Pablo Neruda, and each successive line becomes harder for Nina to relate as she builds towards another flood of tears, this time in Jamie's (dead) arms.

The final lines of the verse are

"my feet will want to march

to where you are sleeping

but I shall go on living"

- my bottom lip trembled, my own tears joined Juliet's, and it was clear that this moment was pivotal, was the chance for her to finally accept the life she had, leaving the one now lost to her.

My final two moments were less dramatic, less emotionally draining, for the tears were part happiness now.  When Mark (Michael Maloney) persuades her to talk about the barrier she has put up, and shows his understanding of her situation, it feels like a release.  And the closing moments, when Mark comes to collect her from that 'terrible flat' and in the window stands Jamie, sad/happy to see her go, surrounded by his dead mates who all wave the couple off into the night.  

Letting go, accepting loss, returning to real life, are bittersweet moments in life.  My tears were for Nina and Jamie, and Mark, and all the people who have to pass through such moments in their lives - which means all of us.  And for myself, for I am incapable of watching, or reading about, such situations without imagining myself placed in them and wondering how I'd react.  As Nina and Mark and even as Jamie (except I can't play the cello...).  It's a tribute to Stevenson and the late Rickman, and to writer and director Anthony Minghella, that there were times when the emotions felt as real to me as they did to the characters.  Experiencing these moments by proxy flexes our emotional muscles without risk, reminds us what it means to be human.  That's what stories are for.

(Footnote.  I had completely  forgotten the poetry scene, and the strange coincidence it brought forth.  My final choice of weepy movie lay between TMD and Il Postino, in which one of the central characters is a fictionalised version of Neruda.)