Where does the time go?

 

THE OTHER NIGHT I WENT FOR A MASSAGE

Not the whale music kind, and definitely not the happy ending type. This was more your "two steps removed from sadistic torture" kind of massage. Something I've been having every few weeks in the hope that they, and my sudden conversion to pilates, will help ease the back pains I have been having for several months. My regular manipulator being away for a few weeks, I had a new guy giving my back the treatment, and finding his own ways to make me experience pains I didn't know I had. Lovely man, from Dundalk, and we chatted as he rubbed and pummelled away at me. He asked that question that so many people do when you're retired - "What do you do with yourself?"

To which my first response is usually "What the hell do I do with myself?". Because I never seem to do much, and yet the days are full and I'm never bored. So I thought I'd look back at the month just ending to see if it offered up any clues.

September's always a month with a bit going on anyway. The Fringe has just ended, and live entertainment switches to sport, and the theatre. Hockey and Rugby begin, and it's time for another season of A Play, a Pie and a Pint. There's our wedding anniversary, and Barbara's birthday. Oh, and I've got into the habit of helping out a bit on the Advocard stall on the day of the Edinburgh Volunteer Fair.

This specific September added in a march in support of Scottish Indy, a short city break, a brief period alone at home, and a music gig. That's a fair bit of time accounted for already. But there's still a lot left...

So what do I do with the rest of the time? I wish I knew.  I sit at my PC and write things.  I look at smaller screens and get annoyed with the idiots of the world (definitely trying to cut back on that one).  I read.  Play with the cat.  Usually a bit of voluntary work.  A weekly pilates class, immediately offset by cake in a nearby cafe.  TV in the evenings.

And... exist in my own head.  It's a place where I've always been able to spend a lot tiome.  Maybe from being an only child, more likely from being naturally unsociable.  I didn't tell him that bit.

Kilt Wake?

 

NOT WALKING NO MORE?

No begging this year. Not from me. No long walk, no charity fund raising, no point to the kilt. This year I will not be doing Kiltwalk.

I did register. I did start doing practice walks from early May, gradually extending the distance. I did , once, manage to do over ten miles. And then I stopped. And feel better for doing so. Well, physically at least. The back pain got too much for me and common sense finally overrode pride to call a halt.

But the back has been better since. Maybe that's partly down to cutting out the hours of plodding. But it could also mean that the regular pilates and sports massages are proving beneficial. And that I might continue to improve. Later this year I should be getting the "have you tried turning it off and turning it on again?" treatment on the heart again, but this time with the assistance of a drug that doesn't like me to have grapefruit. So maybe my breathing will be better too...

Hope is a hard habit to shake sometimes. So maybe it's too early to consign the kilt to the grave. Next year I might be begging again.

To Sicily via the page

 ADDIO SALVO

The primary perk of the pensioner period in life is, at least in theory, time. Lots and lots of time. Even if you still don't know where it goes to. Which, to me, means time to read. All those books I've bought over the decades (because I really needed them...) but never got hold of one of those 'round tooit' thingies you need to get going on reducing the great pile of the unread. But I've been able to find my reading 'tooit' (many others continue to go missing).

One of the great joys of having the freedom to read and read, day after day, is immersing oneself in a series of novels so that, for a period of weeks or months the characters become a part of your family. I'm particularly fond of consuming detective series in this fashion. And so, in the past few years, I have become friendly with the likes of Rebus, Wallander, Beck, Van der Valk and, my personal favourite, Castang.

Salvo Montalbano, Commissario of police in the fictional Sicilian town of Vigata, achieved some fame in the UK throuigh the regular showings of his eponymous series (and the prequel Young Montalbano) on BBC4. It appears to be a cheap filler for them when there's nothing better to hand. And cheap it is. This is one of those "so bad it's good" TV programmes. At times the acting is risible, direction predictable and the settings devoid of real life. But it was a fun watch, sometimes funny in unintended ways, and the basic storylines were usually well worked out. Because the stories themselves closely followed the plots of the original books, from the hands of Andrea Camilleri.

Those books have gathered a lot of critical praise, and a large readership, in part due to the screen versions no doubt. I picked one up a while back, liked what I read, and decided I would wait to acquire the complete set before setting off to spend a few weeks in a fictional Sicily.

I began with a book that was out of sequence chronologiocally, but made sense in setting the scene.  This was a book of short stories which opened with Montalbano's First Case, which explains how Salvo got to become the Chief Inspector of Vigata.  This would later become the basis for the first episode of TV's Young Montalbano.

Then into the novels.  All twenty eight of them.  It is soon apparent that this is vastly superior to the TV version.  While most of the main characters are broadly similar, Salvo has a much richer inner life.  The books are very funny (Intentionally!).  Like Mankell and Sjöwall&Wahlöö, Camilleri uses the genre to make comments on the political and social situations of the day (he has a lot of fun highlighting the idiocies of the Berlusconi period, rather less showing up how badly cross-Med migrants are treated).  

There's an interesting development about half way through the series.  By then the TV programme has taken off, and the name of Montalbano was much better known in Italy.  Which the Salvo of the page resents, complaining that the TV version is a decade younger, and often sharper of thought, than he is.  Although at least he's still got a decent head of hair.  But his obsession with the ageing process becomes a permanent theme from then on.  

The credit for conveying so much of Camilleri's Sicilian authenticity goes to translator Stephen Sartarelli, who does an excellent job of conveying the idiomatic sense of the originals (which were written in a mix of Italian and Sicilian), and providing footnotes to help the reader understand references that would otherwise pass the them by.  He's also helpful in explaining much about the food that Montalbano consumes so much of - the gourmand of the page is there on the screen, but without the loving descriptions of the dishes being enjoyed.  Reading has never made me feel so hungry, or given me so many recipe ideas to try out.     

Much as I'd enjoyed the series throughout, by the begining of book 27 it was good to know the end was not far off.  And yet.  27 contained a surprise, turning into more of a full blown thriller than the others.  And 28 breaks the mould.  To begin with, it was written out of sequence, several years before publication, and was given to the publisher with the instruction not to make it public until after the author's death.  The title, Riicardino, is at odds with the rest of the series.  And the story takes the meta laspects of the fictional Montalbano mentioning his own (more fictional?!) TV alter ego, and raises it with phone conversations between the character and his own author.  This final volume is a much more literary effort than the others, more philosophical, and a reminder of the essential humanity of these books.  

And isn't a policeman who cares about his fellow human beings what we all want?  Along with convoluted plots, unlikely but logical explanations, and a cast of familiars that are recognisably flawed people.  On the debit side women get a raw deal, little more than adjuncts, or provocations, most of the time, although in part that's a reflection of Sicilian patriarchal culture.  And in Ingrid Sjöström, Salvo's Swedish friend, there is one female character who is strong and highly competent, although it's a shame she dfoesn't crop up more frequently.  But I will still miss Mimi, Fazio, Cat, Livia, Enzo, Pasquale, Adelina and, most of all, the main man.  He was always as entertaining as I could have wished for, no mean compliment over so many volumes (and 2 months dead from 1 to 28).

Now... has anyone got a complete set of Simenon to hand?

[The photo shows the late Andrea Camilleri with Luca Zingaretti, who plays Montalbano in the RAI TV series.]

Isnt it a bit warm for this?

 

Previous posts mentioned being back Murrayfield ice rink to watch the return of the Edinburgh Capitals. The season has been over for a couple of months now, and won't return until September. But at least there's still been events to follow. The same coach remains in place. Most of the top players have signed up for next season, plus a couple of new faces. Sadly my personal favourite has returned to Germany, but you can't have everything. We still look like having a team that, once again, should be challenging for silverware. More to the point, we have another season of hockey to go to, after so many away from the sport.

But, unlike previous years, there's a new aspect to the off season. Murrayfield ice rink has been converted into Murrayfield roller rink (and has had a decent paint job to spruce it up). That's kept the punters coming through the door. And offered up the chance to see a another variation on sport, but still with Caps playing. Inline roller hockey.

We missed out on the first match due to another commitment (which was a shame, as it sounded like a thriller, Caps beating Dundee Tigers 7-6), but went to our first game today. Playing against Whitley Bay Sea Kings, this would prove an easier challenge for the home side, ending up 13-4 in our favour. So maybe not the most competitive of games.

But it was still fascinating, to be seeing the similarities and differences in relation to the 'normal' hockey that is our standard diet there. The skills are broadly similar, as is some of the equipment, and the rotating bench of players. There's one few player on the ice for each side, only one official, and the pace is slower. Rules are simpler too, with no offsides, no icing (or equivalent), no heavy body hits. There was only one brief fight, tame in comparison with those it's icy companion throws up, and provided the only penalties of the game. The clock continues to run down, even when a goal is scored, so the periods are much shorter. throw in the removal of Zamboni time and the roller game is over in an hour or more less than the blade one. If the overall spectacle is a bit less exciting than the winter games, it was still a fun watch.

But the biggest difference was in being a spectator, and not just because there were a lot fewer of us. It was the novelty of sitting in the rink, looking at my bare arms, and wondering where my usual five layers of clothing had got to. On what was one of the hottest days we've had this year, it was a relief to come in out of the sun to a place that was considerably cooler than being outdoors. But not so cool that you couldn't sit there comfortably in shorts and tee. This is not something I will be repeating once September arrives, and that interior gets back it's usual title - Freezerfield.

Pink cowboy hats helping the egg shaped ball

 

A PERSONAL THANK YOU TO FANS OF BEYONCE AND HARRY STYLES

BT Murrayfield has been taken over this weekend and last by the abovementioned pop singers and their gaudily dressed followers. Best avoided as far as I'm concerned.

But that doesn't stop me from being grateful to them all. Someone told me the prices of the cheapest tickets to go and see these events. Eye watering, especially for what they are. But so, so welcome. These people are handing over a lot of money to the SRU. The SRU fund Edinburgh Rugby. My 2023/24 season ticket for the Dam Health Stadium has not increased in price from last year. Because the SRU are raking in the dosh from other sources...

And for that I don't care how weirdly they want to dress, as long as they're handing over all that cash.

Old but evolving

 

NEVER STOP CHANGING

Do you have a particular word that you know perfectly well how to pronounce properly, but also know that there's a mispronunciation lurking deep within your brain which is always likely to leap out at you unexpectedly?  I have one that has it's own special annoyance.  It was a word that was common when I was growing up, usually as an adjective for flooring or kitchen tablecloths.  Then it seemed to fall into disuse and I could feel comfortable knowing I probably wouldn't have to use it.  Until, like a bad smell you thought you'd got away from, it made it's reappearance.  Now with a brand new meaning that seems to be everywhere.  There was nothing wrong with record, or album, or LP, or 33, but they have all been superseded by my linguistic nemesis.  Yes, the word is vinyl.  Which I do know, really I do, should rhyme with spinal.  So why does a part of me want it sound like compile?  I have no idea where that came from.  I do know it will always be there within me, and care will always have to be taken...

A few months ago I posted on here about 2022 being the year when I started to feel properly old, due to some physical health issues that have sprung up, and the consequent treatment.  Sooner or later, it's something we all have to face up to, in some form or other, as the years pass.  And I have to admit that my mental abilities maybe aren't all they once were either.  A bit slower to process information sometimes, a bit more forgetful.  My driving certainly isn't what it used to be.   All these things I accept as part of growing older.

But there's one aspect of ageing that isn't as inevitable as the above, and which I will fight off succumbing to with every facet of my over-the-hill mind and body.  I don't know what the name for it is, but it's that mysterious and insidious visitor that leads older people into bigotry, brexshit and Daily Fail reading.  The ones who think that growing up with ice on the inside of their bedroom windows never did them any harm.  The ones who imagine there's some strange force that's not allowing them to say Merry Xmas.  (And who rant against people who use that 'X'...)  The ones who don't want people who "aren't like us" to have any rights.  Who think immigrants should be "sent back where they came from", that anyone reliant on social security for their food and housing needs "to get a proper job" and that the BBC has become "woke" (even if they don't know what it means).  

No thanks.  That's not a road I ever intend to head off on, for the only end points are irrational fear and unwarranted hatred.  I'll stick to becoming more left wing as I age, more convinced that Scotland needs to go it alone, and more in favour of extending human rights to marginalised groups like trans people.

But I can see how so many of my contemporaries end up heading towards the dark side.  

Potential Pill Popping Problem

 

POPPING FOIL IS AN END TO SPONTENAITY

Over the past few weeks I've been playing about, at my GP's suggestion, with the dosage of one of my medications.  The one that helps my heart to function reasonably efficiently despite the misfire it has developed.  This resulted in me now taking a lower dosage, which feels like a mildly positive result, but It's still going to be one of three pills I'm taking daily for the foreseeable future.  Getting older can be a bit of a bugger sometimes.

A few years ago I wrote this post about the time I was in Aberdeen, and thought how easy it would have been to pull out my credit card and vanish for a week.  Which I didn't do of course, because I'm not that actually adventurous in reality.  But it has occurred to me that even the option has now been removed.  Not without some level of foresight.  Of carrying a week's worth of pills with me.  I'm not sure what would happen to me if I didn't, but I'd prefer not to find out.  Experimenting with differing doses of bisoprolol in recent weeks has demonstrated just how much I'm affected when the levels of drugs in my system change.  

It's not as if this was something I actually wanted to do.  Yet it still saddens me to realise that I've lost even the possibility of becoming the person that I was never ever going to be anyway!  Crazy, eh?

Story Time

Many years ago I used to write short stories.  Well, I tried to, although most ended up unfinished, or binned because I wasn't happy with them.  In time the urge faded.

Until the past few years, when I felt tempted to give it another go.  The urge was back, but so was the frustration.  Most of my efforts were never completed, and I'd move on to something else instead.  Maybe I needed something to help me focus?

So I set up a blog, called Bits and Pieces (I wrote about it on here back in October 2019), where I could post completed stories and poems.  Which still didn't create the necessary motivation.  In 2021 I undertook a 365 Project, trying to write something every day of the year in response to a daily prompt to creativity.  It didn't result in 365 stories, but I did write something every day.  Not all were fiction, and a couple of them ended up on here as blog posts.  I did end up writing, and mostly completing first drafts of, a lot of stories and poems.   Some of them even seemed, to me, to be half decent.  But were they really?

I find it hard to share my writing.  While I do it primarily for my own pleasure, there's still a nagging voice in my head wondering if anyone else might enjoy anything of what I've created.  Now more of the 365 Project output is on Bits and Pieces.  And I'd be delighted if a few people read what I've put up there, and maybe even commented on what they found.  Negative comments would be even more valuable than positive, as they might help me improve in future.  

The impetus behind me saying this is the posting of what I felt was my best story of 2021.  It;s called Yellow Coat and joins 26 other stories, and 6 poems.  Most are extremely short, barely stories at all, with this latest addition being the longest to date.  

You can find the new story here

And the whole of Bits and Pieces here

Somebody, anybody... talk to me please?

Sometimes it's good to be disappointed

 

ENJOYING THE DISAPPOINTMENT

Back in November I wrote about being back at Murrayfield Ice Rink (now renamed Murrayfield Ice Arena) and being able to watch 'our' team again, the Edinburgh Capitals.  I wrote about the sense of belonging, and the return of those old feelings of hope and disappointment that came with being a Caps fan.  Now I write, a few hours before the final match of the league season, about how disappointing last night was.  And how much I savour that sense of disappointment.

Four months ago we were watching a team that was largely comprised of ageing veterans and inexperienced teenagers.  A team playing it's first home match because, up until then, they'd had no ice to call home.  Who'd had to cross the water over to Mordor (aka Fife) for their first training sessions.  Who'd played all their early league matches on away rinks.  Who'd had their first home match postponed due to technical issues, so that their first experience of skating out on Murrayfield's ice would be to play the league leaders.  (In front of a far bigger crowd than many of our youngsters had encountered before, which they initially found quite daunting.)  It was good to be back, good to have a team to support, and there were no great expectations.

If, back then, you'd have told me that we were going to finish second in the league, and that we'd be in the hunt for the league title until the final few minutes of the second last match, on the final weekend, I'd have bitten your hand off.  I don't think I'd have believed you.  Why raise such unrealistic hopes?  But here I am, feeling disappointed that the team couldn't quite manage it.  And savouring that disappointment.

Because to be disappointed you have to have had hope.  Which is something this team have given us.  Back in 2018, when we were last able to watch the Caps perform, 'hope' was largely defined as "let's hope we don't get totally gubbed this weekend".  The standard of hockey might be a bit lower than it was back then, but the standard of hope has been raised considerably.  A few weeks ago we were in a position where, if we won all our remaining league matches we'd be champions.  That hope was fully kindled when Barbara and I travelled up to Aberdeen and watched our guys beat Lynx, those aforementioned league leaders.  Then we lost to that same Lynx at home.  But hope returned, as both teams, went on a losing streak, and suddenly the outcome of the season came down to one more game up in the north east.  So important a match that Aberdeen even put on a live stream, for the first time in SNL history.  And hope burst into life when we took an early lead.  Only to be dashed in the closing moments, as we went down to a 3-2 loss.  A deflating moment, yes, but this morning I can enjoy my disappointment.

Tonight the Caps play North Ayrshire Wild, a team who've only won two games all season.  It's now a meaningless fixture, in terms of league positions, but it's still hockey, it's another chance to cheer on our team and enjoy the spectacle.  It will, hopefully, bring another big crowd to Freezerfield, and the size and passion of the support has been another big surprise of the season, with numbers exceeding fifteen hundred at times.  It will be fun.

It's not quite the end either.  The final league positions are used to determine the seeding for the end of season playoffs, and Caps will have a quarter final against Kilmarnock Thunder.  Win that, and we'll be into the Playoffs Weekend, being held at Murrayfield on 8th and 9th of April.  Another chance to win some silverware.  Another chance to hope.  And maybe, this time, skip that sense of disappointment...?

Where's the alternative?

 WHO'S ANYBODY?

So we're to have a new First Minister in a few weeks from now.  Maybe that's something that was needed.  Although it feel more like the SNP government has been in power for too long. They are running out of ideas, and have serious issues over competence, corruption and honesty. So it would be good to have someone else to vote for, to usher in a more complete change that might bring in real improvements after the next Holyrood election. But who  is that alternative?

Twitter in these Muskian times seems flooded with right wing nutjobs.  And diehard unionists.  Often the same people.  My feed covered in them, unsolicited and largely unwelcome, like a dog crapping on your dinner.  Yes, I could simply block, or see only people I've chosen to follow, but there's something to be said for 'know your enemy', so it's worth persevering and seeing what the people who are causing the problems are saying.

And it gives the opportunity to ask questions.  There's a particular kind of right wing unionist who persistently whines and whinges about the SNP government, and makes constant personal attacks on the outgoing First Minister.  Mysogyny is never far away.  I've taken to asking them what seems like the obvious question - Who is the credible electoral alternative we should be voting for?

And the answer is always the same - Anybody.  When I point out that I've never seen the Anybody Party on any ballot paper their replies become more vague, or they vanish or block.  Most liukely because even they know there isn't a proper alternative.  Only Labour can oust the SNP as a government.  The Tories might like to pretend they could, but Scotland sees through them.  And if greater competence, less corruption and more honesty are the attributes being looked for, then their Westminster record shows them to be ten times worse than anything the SNP have done, without even the latter's humanity.

Which leaves Starmer's party.  Because much as I have some liking for Sarwar, he is still going to have to do the party line from London.  Which is avowedly unionist, doesn't commit to trying to reverse brexshit, and seems increasingly dostant from anything recognisable as socialism.  So what's the point of Labour?  To replace the nasty party in England for sure, but what can they offer this country?  I wait to be wooed.

In the meantime we can only wait to see who the new FM will be, and what they offer.  Sadly, it doesn't really have to be much to be better than the other lot.