Little Nigel has a laugh

Little Nigel was trying to get himself elected to the school council.  Again.

But this time he knew he would do it.  He knew it, he knew, he knew it, because Nanny had said he would.  So he made up lots of promises, and wrote them down on a big purple card, and told the Little Nigel Fan Club to tell everyone in the school about it.  And the Fan Club did as they were told, for hadn't Nigel given them all toffees?  OK, so the Fan Club were actually Class 1D, but they were his.  They were, they were, they were, because Nanny said they were.

And Little Nigel said to the Fan Club that if he didn't win this time then he'd leave the school and never be seen again.  But he knew he wouldn't have to.  Because Nanny said so.

So the elections to the school council were held and the results were all added up and got shouted around the school hall and... And, and, and..... This couldn't be.  Little Nigel had lost.  For the seventh time in a row.  And Nigel realised that Nanny's promises were just like his own.  All made up.

So he wrote to the crestfallen Fan Club and told them he was going to leave the school, because that's what the big boys who'd lost were doing (apart from Smudger Murphy, but nobody could stop laughing at him), and he so, so, so wanted to be one of them.  And 1D became even sadder.  But then one of them noticed something.  At the end of the note Little Nigel had scribbled something.  It read "Because I'm a man of my word".  So this boy, who was just a tad brighter than the others (he could even tie his own shoelaces) told the others what was written, and when it slowly, ever so slowly, dawned on them what Little Nigel was telling them, well, they all smiled, and then they laughed.  They laughed, they laughed, they laughed.

So the 'clever' boy (who could run because his shoelaces were tied up tight) was sent to bring Nigel before the Fan Club and they told him, because they knew it was what he wanted to hear, that they would never let him leave the school and he had to stay and none of them could do what he did or ever be one of the big boys and if he left who'd stand up for all the school dunces?  Eh?  Tell us that Nigel.

And Little Nigel drew himself up to his full height of four feet eight and half and he said "No, I must not stay, for I am going to be a man of my word like the big boys".

And the Fan Club looked at Nigel.  And Nigel looked at the Fan Club.  And then they all laughed.  They laughed and laughed and laughed.