An end to grave watching?

A YEAR OF GRAVESTONES

One year ago I posted to say I'd be trying to keep up a wee project to post photos of the changing view from our windows on every Friday throughout 2016. Yesterday saw the fifty third and final post go up, and the blog come to an end (although if there's anything worth recording in future, like a decent snowfall, I may decide to post on the odd occasion). Did it achieve anything?

'Achieve' is too strong a word, but I'm glad I managed to document the changes across the seasons. With so many trees down below, and one high enough to be at eye level up on the fifth floor, the view was very different in June to the one that I began with in January. In retrospect it was a daft decision to go for weekly posts, as the transitions don't always happen that quickly, although come Autumn there were quite big differences between one Friday and the next. I should maybe have gone for a more flexible approach.

But I'm glad I stuck with it. As it became obvious that one week's post was much like another I had to find other ways to make the blog interesting (if only for myself). And that took me down to ground level and wandering around the cemetery. For me that was the best aspect of keeping the blog going, that I got to know what was down there much better than before. Whilst the original intent was to show the changes in the vegetation, and going to down to see it provided some interesting details, it was the graves and memorials themselves that provided the greatest fascination.

Forgotten names and occupations, a sculpture dedicated to stillbirths and a memorial to the biggest rail disaster in UK history, there always seems to be something fresh to discover. New graves too, with burials taking place on an irregular basis, and plenty of visitors to the deceased. Watching the gardeners was often interesting, and the men trying to raise old fallen stones back into their original position.  

So my regular Friday photo sessions will no longer be de rigueur.  I can stick to looking out for the occasional photogenic sunset.  But I don't see my walks around the dead ending next year.  There are still discoveries to be made in this small but fascinating world of memories.

2016, the best bits

BEST OF THE YEAR

History may not look kindly on 2016, with considerable evidence on offer of the depths to which human stupidity can sink. Let us hope it will not also be seen as the precursor for much more dangerous times ahead.

But I prefer to end the year reflecting on the positives. On a personal level it's been another enjoyable twelve months. A big part of that enjoyment comes from getting ourselves out to see live entertainment, and films, and my accompanying hobby of writing reviews to all that I get to. This becomes a handy reference point when I want to recall the best (and worst) bits I've been privileged to see. So, as I did last year, here's my list of my favourites broken down into various categories.

It was a quieter year in terms of numbers, especially for comedy - probably because we didn't feel 100% well during August and went to far fewer Fringe shows than we had the year before. In the end I've been to 24 comedy shows, 45 music gigs, 27 drama events, 28 films, and a couple that don't slot comfortably into any of these categories. I've also been to a large number of ice hockey matches....

1) Comedy 

As was the case last year it would be easy just to say Mark Thomas and move on. Still the best. Or I could plump for others we've seen before like Stewart Lee, Mark Steel or our friend Aidan Goatley (twice!), all of whom delivered the quality expected. 
But my preference is to recall someone I haven't seen before and has left a lasting impression. My first thought was Jonathan Pie, which was funny, thought provoking, and clever in the manner in which it adapted the YouTube character to an our long stage show. But the show was as much drama as it was comedy, and I'd like to choose a more pure comedy act. So my selection is Paul Currie. Inventive, bizarre, childish, involving, hilarious and utterly daft. Definitely a man I want to see again next year.

2) Music 

As above it would be so simple to just say that by far the best gig of the year was provided, once more, by the mighty Lau. Or another amongst our established favourites - Kris Drever, Moishe's Bagel, Merry Hell, the wonderful Dallahan..... Instead I'm choosing an act in which only one of the performers was already familiar. Seonaid Aitken and the Tokyo Django Collective delivered a magical event where virtuoso performances were combined with a sense of fun and enthusiasm. So memorable. With a special mention to an unlikely group of heroes, also performing in the Jazz and Blues Festival. The Bratislava Hot Serenaders didn't come close to providing the greatest musical experience of the year. But they did deliver by far the most charming.

3) Drama 

We got to all ten productions in the two seasons of A Play, a Pie and a Pint at the Traverse, and enjoyed almost all of them, with Dr Johnson Goes to Scotland the stand out performance. But I think my choice needs to head somewhere with more meat on the bones. Teatro Delusio was the unforgettable drama experience of the Fringe. Thon Man Moliere had much to recommend it. But... I'm going with Right Now, the funny, twisted, disturbing French Canadian family drama we saw back in April. There are images from that evening which have stayed with me ever since.

4) Film 

So often, when asked what our favourite was, we tend to provide the easy answer and just go for the last thing we enjoyed. But, although Paterson, was the last film I saw in 2016, I have no doubt about my choice. Quietly beautiful and inspiring. I can't look back at 2016 and not mention the film that provoked the greatest anger and empathy in me, I, Daniel Blake, which is a powerful condemnation of the society we've become. Most of the films I saw this year were as part of the Film Festival in June and July, and four stood above the others for me. The Carer, The Olive Tree, 24 Weeks and A Man Called Ove (from the UK, Spain, Germany and Sweden respectively) were all excellent, with the last of these evoking that word Charm once again.

5) Book 

I don't review them and I haven't read nearly as many this year. But looking back over those I have, the best by far was The Testament of Gideon Mack by James Robertson. Exploring the boundaries of religious faith, myth and fantasy, it shows up the credibility and credulity of we humans in a tale that questions reality. My favourite thriller was C J Sansom's Winter in Madrid, bringing with it a real sense of life in the Spain of the Civil War and the early years of the Franco regime.

6) Hockey Match 

I don't write reviews or keep notes, so I may be guilty of falling victim to 'recent memory' syndrome, but for atmosphere I can't recall anything to beat the Caps match against Fife Flyers on 2 October. The Edinburgh Capitals had never previously qualified for the quarter finals of the Challenge Cup. Win this match and their place was guaranteed. Maybe the atmosphere wasn't quite so good at the end of the second period. 0-1 down after the first, we'd fallen to 1-4 after the next twenty minutes. But the third was .... different. 
Matt Tipoff got one back after a couple of minutes, and the comeback definitely looked on just over a minute later when Mason Wilgosh made it 3-4. Another four minutes and there was Mr Tipoff again to equalise. All square, twelve and a bit minutes to go, and anybody's game. But now the home side had the momentum, and the noise from the crowd, to carry them. 
Less than five minutes left and Ian Schultz scored to take the lead for the first time. The Edinburgh fans were on their feet. And stayed up. Pretty much anyone who was capable of standing was doing so. And shouting, and chanting and generally going crazy, even the most normally staid amongst our number. When Pavel Vorobyev fired the puck into the empty net with a couple of minutes left we knew our Xmas had come very early this year. What a night to be a Caps fan....

And finally.... As I did last year, just to show I don't always make wise choices of shows to go and see, here are a few of the worst of the year. Musically Gol did little for me, and Orkestra Del Sol proved a disappointment when I'd expected so much. In the Film Festival I found Suntan and Mr Right lightweight and pointless. Surprisingly there was one of the Play, Pie and Pint series that proved to be a big let down, with One Thinks of It All as a Dream so much poorer than the others in the series. And my Turkey of the Year award is once again going to a Fringe 'comedy' show - The Simpsons Taught Me Everything I Know was even worse than the title suggests, an hour of 2016 I'd like to wipe from memory.

Here's to an entertaining (and Armageddon-free) 2017.

Selfie Season?

THAT SELFIE PROJECT

At the beginning of October I posted on here to say I was going to have a go at a photographic project, taking selfies over a period of several weeks and seeing what resulted.  The inspiration for the project was explained in the post and you can read about it here.

Now's the time to reveal the results.  Even if I'm as unimpressed with the outcome as I expected to be.  I wondered if there might be any way to claim my pictures, collectively, as an art form, as was the case for Ai Weiwei's exhibit of looping selfies at the exhibition that prompted my experiment.

It's really for others to give judgement on whether my own collection constitutes art in any way.  My own reaction is No.  Because, unlike the Chinese, I don't have much in the way of visual imagination or creativity.  In consequence there are many shots that are dull and repetitive.

But I'm leaving them in there.  If nothing else this is a warts and all form of portraiture, with only a few of the photos I took being left out because they were contributing nothing.  Over the period I was taking them I banged my forehead on a shelf; then had a haircut which involved a bit of a styling change (I thought it successful, but the photos show little real difference!); and for the past few weeks I've had a virus so there have been times when I've looked pale, tired, far from a depiction of good health.  There are shots taken in early morning, shots taken late at night.  Indoor light, outdoor light, and the wrinkle-highlighting brutality of flash.

One of the most notable (and to my eyes bizarre) selfie trends, and a great favourite with Japanese tourists in particular, is to take ones photo in front of a well know landmark.  Proof that they were really there?  A trend I've resisted, other than one featuring an Edinburgh standard (and cliche), the view down The Vennel with the castle in the background.  And Newhaven Harbour features now and then.  A cemetery features, as do bus interiors, but most were taken at home.  More time to experiment in the warmth!

You can find the photos on this Tumblr blog.

A final word.  There are almost three hundred photos on that Tumblr.  If you manage to look at them all you either have a very low boredom threshold, or way too much time on your hands.  Probably both.  There are much better ways to pass the time you know....

Botanic Lights

FOLLOW THE LIGHT

The 2016 Botanic Lights show, at Edinburgh's Botanic Garden, ended last night, another sell out I believe.  If you didn't manage to make it along I took some photos and videos that will give you an idea of what you missed.

I have to admit to being dubious before we went.  Fifteen quid seemed a lot to have a cold walk around a bunch of lit up trees.  My cynicism was unfounded.  We spent ninety minutes going around and enjoyed it all.  It's a lot more than just a few lighting effects.  Although it's surprising what a bit of coloured light can do to raise the profile of even the most boring vegetation.  Click on the links to go to my YouTube Channel.

The theme of the event was Explore.

Explore the world, explore different cultures, recognise our common humanity.  The clearly laid out pathways had something to see all the way along, with several stopping off points for longer, more dramatic displays.  Light art is high tech stuff and there was a lot of imagination and skill on display.

Right from the start there's a very different feel to the place.

Just going through a section of woodland takes on a sense of the theatrical.

This box like installation was constantly changing.

In a small clearing there was a man telling anyone interested to push hard on the big foam button mounted on a plinth in the middle.  Get it right and lights shot up the tree and the bells rang, like the old funfair strength test.

That's the way to do it.

People get lit up too!

The dancing fountains were beautiful - this video's a bit longer than the others.

Walking along some pathways was like being guided by a thousand tinkerbells.

And the lantern-lit walk like  visit to China (or Habitat....).

It wasn't all about bright and flashing lights.  This structure resembled a cross between a radioactive spider's web and the cat's cradle games kids used to play with wool.

There was a tree festooned with Nepalese ribbons, and you could buy one to tie on with your own message added.

This constantly changing hedgerow was amazing, and the sheer size of it isn't really obvious on film.

I thought the coloured light pools on this path were very effective, like mosaic flooring.

The Victorian Palm House was given the stellar treatment.

This simple outline of the map of the world was repeated all the way up this wall.

The last major display on the tour was this swift tour of the world spread across a Georgian facade.  It's also the longest of these films.

But I've left my personal favourite until last, an oriental series of images displayed on to a fountain of water.  Look out for the man and his dog.

Not bad for fifteen quid really.  Better still, it didn't rain.

Irony and the Far Right are like oil and water

DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?  BECAUSE I DON'T....

"We know our future lies in working together to build a better Britain. Yes, we may enjoy the odd triumphant jeer at the mewling, puking infants of Remain (And why not? We’ve put up with the quislings for years) but it’s not we who are ‘sabotaging’ the country; quite the reverse. The world is watching and if anything is making us look foolish and unreliable it is the remainers stoking up the fear factor. No wonder they see division; they are largely responsible for it. No wonder they see hate; they are, literally, asking for it. It’s time for the sulky teens to stop bleating about their lives being ruined and start rolling up their sleeves, like grown-ups."

The above comes from a blog post by a Leave the EU fanatic calling himself Battsby.  There's certainly something batty going on.  He also describes himself as "alt-right", which appears to be the current trendy term for neofascist.  So he might be a cunt, but he's a fashionable cunt.  And, like almost everyone I've come across on the far right of politics, irony appears to be beyond him.

I didn't edit that paragraph at the top, there's nothing left out or added.  He genuinely writes about "working together" in one sentence, and then derides about fifty per cent of the UK population as "Quislings".  To further the ironical moment he uses a term for 'traitors' that was used to identify collaborators with the Nazis.  As that far right inspiration the Daily Fail might put it, you couldn't make it up, could you?

But apparently we're only 'seeing' hate.  There isn't any out there, everyone's friends, and all those reports and statistics proving that hate crime has risen dramatically in England since June are just the bleating of sulky teens.

He's right about one thing though.  The world is watching.  And laughing.  The UK became a laughing stock on 24 June.  Now with the world's worst performing currency (and therefore on the brink of massive rises in food prices) and a leadership that is both authoritarian and clueless.  They don't want parliamentary scrutiny of their actions, presumably for fear of being found out that they don't have a clue.  Even the Tory Chancellor is starting to think so.

OK, it's just one sad blogger I'm quoting, an aging white male with over the top insecurity issues who wants the world to work for him and his ilk alone.  The trouble is that people like him now have a voice in government.  David Davis, once a staunch defender of parliament, has suddenly decided that imperious works better now he has power, while The Disgraced Liam Fox goes around the planet getting mocked.  And then there's Foreign Secretary Johnston (no, I still don't really believe it either....) making sure he upset as many other countries as possible.  It's an embarrassing time to have to admit you're British.

In Scotland we do have our Battsby-like characters, although not generally quite so outlandishly Colonel Blimpish.  But they are a rarity here and have no traction in our society, as the election results for ukip clearly show.  We are, more and more, a different country to England.  For my friends down there I sincerely hope you find a way to change course.  But as long as you have so many passengers insisting that the iceberg looks interesting, we are going to have to think about when we man the lifeboats.

Turning myself into .... art?

THE ART OF NARCISSISM

I have a new project to amuse myself with over the next few weeks.  It's inspired by two recent events in my life.

The first was visiting the Facing The World exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery, my favourite amongst the city's excellent and varied art houses of art.  A collection of self portraits from Rembrandt to the present day, it was striking, intriguing and sometimes disturbing.  There were plenty of images that left an impact upon me, but two would return to mind later when the second event hit me.

It was seeing the photo above one morning.  Hillary Clinton, US Presidential Candidate, waving to a crowd.  All of whom are looking at her on tiny screens while they turn their back on one of the most famous women in the world.  Could anything exemplify what's become known as the Selfie Culture any more than this image?  A society where many people appear not to believe they've been somewhere, done something, seen someone unless they have a photograph to place themselves in the place, the action, with the person.  It's a phenomenon the likes of Nicola Sturgeon has seized on and not only accepted but used to her advantage.  It seems Clinton is going the same route.

I take photos of the place the event, the person, but I know I've been behind the lens, I don't need to place myself in the shot to prove it.  Maybe it's an age thing, but I confess to being one of those people who winces at the sight of a selfie stick.  All the time I have no good reason for doing so, other than another attitude that's stuck in the past...  Move on Crawford!

Yet the apparent narcissism of the selfie's predominance is an issue that's discussed seriously in many publications and discussions.  It's a significant cultural change, yet another arriving through new technology and the power of interconnectedness, whether deemed beneficial, detrimental or neutral.  Is it also art?   When does the selfie stop being narcissism and become art?  Or can these two things coexist?

So was Rembrandt a narcissist?  Lacking the advantages of photography artists frequently painted themselves simply for practice, to improve their technique, to experiment with lighting and poses and expressions.  Models were expensive and not always readily available.  The selfie of the time was a practical necessity for an artist seeking to improve.

But the selfie now?  The same approach can apply if you want to seriously undertake some portrait photography.  But it can be art too.  In that exhibition there was an intriguing self portrait photograph by an artist in the 1930s (I have forgotten her name, sadly).  The camera is slightly above her and to her left.  She is sat down looking relaxed, looking away to the left of the shot, one hand in her lap, the other out of the frame.  It was thought the (missing) left hand was holding the pressure bulb used to trigger the remote control to take the picture.  Nowadays our cameras have timers, making this kind of shot easier to set up.  That thirties photo, so striking in it's composition, is proof of the selfie as art.  It said as much about the subject as many of the wonderful paintings on those walls.

So how can you or I turn selfies into an art form?  Are there rules to follow?  Or is the intent that enables the transformation?  My own wee experiment is to take frequent selfies over the next couple of months and see what the results are.  To use varied lighting, poses, angles, facial expressions.  Rather than my phone I'm going 'old tech'.  Well back to 2008, before the selfie exploded into what it is today.  Nothing fancy, just a compact Canon, new enough to have reasonable pixel count and lens, old enough to be a break from the social media immediacy of the selfie as we know it today.  No photoshopping, no filters, no fancy effects.  Flash, tripod and timer are the only conveniences I'll employ.

I have no idea where this is leading me, but I'll be posting the results in December.

If there's a hard way to do something....

ONE DOWN, TWO TO GO

A few weeks ago I wrote here about the start of the new ice hockey season and the sense of hope that came with it.  In it I said that we caps fans weren't a demanding lot.  We're loyal, and, knowing how inferior our budget is to the bigger clubs, our hopes and expectations are realistic.  I wrote :

"If we could qualify for the knockout stages of the cup; if we could finish in the top eight of the league and have a chance to make it to the Playoffs; and, most importantly, if we can beat old rival Fife Ayers (their misprint, not mine) then we'll consider that a successful season."

Tonight we had the chance to see the first of those simple aspirations come true.  With the added edge that it was in a match against old rivals Fife Flyers.  After a run of four wins in five games the team had got themselves into the position where a win in regulation time would guarantee a place in the knockout stages of the cup.  A Caps game that actually had an important outcome, now that's been a rarity over the years!

What we got was a drama of Shakespearean intensity and complexity, and heart stopping tension.  Complete with a bit of light relief, courtesy of the Fifers.  Caps were 0-1 down after the first period.  And a bit of as disaster in the second, with Fife adding a second, us getting one back, but two more Fife goals before the end.  Trailing 1-4 was, I confess on the disheartening side.  They've managed a few comebacks in recent games, but four goals in twenty minutes was asking a lot.  And even if we scored three then won in overtime it wouldn't make that cup place secure.

We're now wondering what Coach Dobron said to the guys before that third period started.  They must have been magic words.  Two goals in the first three and half minutes, the equaliser four minutes later, and constant pressure on the Fife goal gave us the lead with more than four minutes still on the clock.  And another a couple of minutes later just to be on the safe side....

It wasn't always pretty.  But it was exciting, impressive, exhilarating, exhausting to watch.  There will be a lot of sore throats in Edinburgh tomorrow morning.  When our fifth went in a surprising number of Flyers fans started heading for the exit, more following after the sixth.  There weren't many left when the buzzer went.  They don't do loyalty in Fife, not like Caps fans.

What a night.  A three goal deficit turned into a two goal victory.  Humiliation for our oldest rivals.  And, for once, Caps have qualified for something.  The way they are playing this season it won't be the last.

If you live in the Edinburgh area you really, really should come along and give this team a watch.  (Fixture list here.)  It might not always be quite as drama packed as tonight's occasion, but it certainly won't be dull.

#MonTheCaps

Memory connects

A WALK ALONG PORTY PROM

It's the first of October in Scotland and it's not supposed to be like this.  Blue sky, sunshine, warmth, an invitation to take in some sights.  So we got a bus to Edinburgh's pretension to be a seaside resort - Portobello.  A name that may oversell the charms of the locale - just because we're twinned with Nice doesn't make this the Promenade des Anglais - but which has a special place in the city's affections.  If you wanted to go to the beach you went to Porty, and that sentiment links to my own past.

This was the place where my granny and auntie would take me to go to 'the shows'.  AKA the penny arcade, the slot machines, the one armed bandits (none of this effete push-button nonsense back then, it was proper lever pulling....).  And everything cost a penny.  (That's 1d of course.)  The building remains, still has the same function, but I suspect they'd charge me a lot more than even 1p to have a go.

But whilst a lot of Porty remains the same, much has changed too.  The beach is cleaner for a start (helped greatly by EU quality standards, just sayin') and the choice of eating places has improved greatly on the main drag.  The most dramatic differences are at the western end, once dominated by the power station, and the neighbouring outdoor, and unheated, swimming pool, both long gone and replaced by some unremarkable housing.  Progress we call it.

Today the prom was busy.  Dogs, bikes, kids, joggers and strollers like ourselves.  Not so many on the beach though.  For some it was even possible to imagine yourself all alone.

Walking along we were tempted by the offers on the blackboard of this old van.

As former 2CV owners we have a soft spot for those corrugated H Vans, evocative of rural France.  Indeed it was good to see a similar vehicle in Blefast just a couple of weeks ago.

My eye was caught by the 'spicy veg haggis sausage roll', a nomenclature so weighted down with internal contradictions that it begged to be tasted.  But first a seat in the sun in the Community Garden, another feature that definitely had no place in the early sixties, then back to find.... a sticker saying they'd run out of my comestible of choice.  Such are life's minor disappointments.

So we wandered up the slope, seeking an alternative, and on the way passed another link to our Ugly Duckling days, but with a whiff more elegance to it's bearing.  Maigret comes to Porty.

My cravings were satisfied by a veggie haggis and fried egg roll (Porty isn't about sophistication), and my memory stirred by a window where this painting took me back to the icy salt water and the wave machine that the pool was famed for.

There was even some amusement to be had for the naming of this shop, less naff than most puns of it's type.

And even waiting for the bus jogged the grey cells back over a few decades.  My dad worked out of Portobello,Police Station for several years, and it remains the most attractive looking cop shop I've seen.  Well, outside at least.

An afternoon that was enjoyable in itself, but enhanced by the connections to and memories of the past.

I'm getting old, ain't I?

Return to the Fridge

AND SO WE BEGIN AGAIN

As I begin writing this I'm conscious that his time tomorrow I'll be sat, with a high sense of anticipation, awaiting the arrival on ice of the Edinburgh Capitals EIHL ice hockey team and the start of their 2016-17 season.  It's that time of year when everything is possible, from the glory of optimism to the ignominy of reality.  A blank canvas on which the outlines will only gradually take shape, the hints of shape and colour only emerging as the weeks pass.  With only one certainty - they have, surely, to achieve a better record than last year's squad managed.

There was a time when they too were winners.  After a slow start results wise the Caps emerged as a difficult proposition for any team to tackle at Murrayfield, and capable of spring surprises away from home.  They rose to the giddy heights of fourth in the league, albeit briefly, but looked certain to achieve a solid mid table position come March.  Or so we thought by the end of November.  And then things happened.

Players left, for a variety of reasons, some of them unavoidable.  Players picked up injuries that weren't just going to keep them off ice for a few games, but for the entire season.  And the fear of coming to Edinburgh steadily evaporated as the heat got more intense.  One win at the beginning of December, another in the first fixture of the new year.  And that was it.  More players departed, more picked up injuries.  Replacements were brought in, they picked up injuries.  In a league where imported players dominate, out of our original line up of thirteen only three of them would still be out there in Caps jersey in the closing weeks of the season.  Most tried hard, much to the appreciation of the fans, as Caps plummeted to a distant tenth.  Out of ten.

We're used to losing.  It comes with being a Caps fan.  We enjoy our underdog status, lap up the chance to be gallant losers.  But watching those guys, so few in number against each opposing team, you couldn't help feel sorry for them.  And proud too, for they never gave up.  Trevor Gerling was both a star and a hero for never giving up whatever the odds, and providing flashes of inspiration that had us off our seats.

But that was last year.

Now there's a new coach, a (mostly) new group of imports, and hope in the chilled air of the Fridge of Dreams.  We've seen them play two warm up games.  And lose.  But that was no surprise.  Some of the guys had only flown into Scotland the day before the first of those matches last weekend.  It's hard to play as a team when you've barely learned each others names yet.  When you're still trying to understand the local accent, and that of your Czech coach.

And yet there were so many hopeful signs in those disorganised first showings.  Flashes of talent and skill that, once harnessed, will be a threat to opponents.  A sense of working together, even if not yet to a pattern.  And an intelligent approach from the coach, making sure he got the chance to learn about all the players at his disposal and build the mental picture of strengths and weaknesses heading into his first full week with the squad.  Signs of players wanting to take on responsibility, provide leadership.  And signs that if anyone messes with us we'll fight back.  Signs we want to see.

One week on and the squad has an important addition, and an important omission.  One of last year's star forwards has arrived, in plenty time to take part in the training sessions.  But we are still missing our starting netminder (goalie to non hockey fans) who's still stuck in Canada with visa problems.  So we know there's more to come yet.

Caps fans aren't a demanding lot.  We know we're competing with many teams who have several times our budget.  We know stoicism.  If we could qualify for the knockout stages of the cup; if we could finish in the top eight of the league and have a chance to make it to the Playoffs; and, most importantly, if we can beat old rival Fife Ayers (their misprint, not mine) then we'll consider that a successful season.  And once you're into the knockout stages of any competition there's always the chance of upsets....

But more than anything we want a bunch of players who'll try, week after week, who'll become a squad we can cheer on because we know that they'll give everything they have.

Winning would be nice though....

Where's my next comedy hero?

SEEKING OUT THE NEW

You have to do the Fringe right.  Or at least do it in whatever way feels 'right' to you.  For some that means booking the big names, the ones they've seen on the telly, heard on the radio, or spotted on the biggest posters.  Sometimes I do the same, if only out of curiosity.  And it turns out that these 'stars' are just like anyone else, just as flawed.

So some turn out to be disappointing, a failure to meet the hype their image has created.  And a recognition that being funny in short bursts on a carefully-edited TV panel show isn't the same as delivering a one hour solo show.  Sometimes they are excellent, as mark Watson or Romesh Ranganathan have been, sometimes not quite what was hoped for, like Katherine Ryan a few days ago, and sometimes outright poor, as Ed Byrne was a few years ago (although, to be fair, we saw him again more recently and he was superb, but that just goes back to what I was saying about merely human).

Still, it's an understandable, even sensible, approach if you only have a couple of days in Edinburgh and want to be sure of having a good time.  But if even if you go see all these 'big' names, and enjoy them, have you really 'done' the Fringe?  There are more than three thousand shows on offer, plus offerings from all the various other festivals running simultaneously, and they range from the sublime to the downright horrendous.  What there most certainly is is something for everyone.  If you can find it.

And for someone who has the luxury of being a city resident , and having the time-richness that comes with no longer having to work for a living, sticking with the familiar is absolutely the 'wrong' way of going about things.  But I would also argue it's 'wrong' for even the short term visitor.

Blyth's number one rule of Fringe-going : If you haven't seen something you thought was a bit shit then you haven't been trying hard enough.  (Or you're just very, very lucky....)

Blyth's number two rule of Fringe-going : If more than half the shows you go to see feature acts you've seen before then you're not being brave enough.

Yes, go pick a few sure fire winners.  But take risks too, go for people you've never heard of and see if, under the covers, lurks a diamond or a lump of coal.  Often you'll find someone you'll love and want to see again.  And sometimes you'll just wish you could have that hour of your life back.  But you probably learned something from the experience.  (Last year we had a powerful reminder of one of the comedian's golden rules - if you start blaming the audience for not laughing then you are definitely the problem.)

We've only seen four Fringe shows so far (breaking ourselves in gently), and three of those have been people we've seen before.  That set alarm bells off in my head so I had a check through the shows we currently have booked, and was able to recover my smugness.  About two thirds are acts we haven't seen at all, or only seen doing short sets before.  (And by 'seen' I don't mean on telly, but doing ten or fifteen minutes slots in bigger shows.  And I'm not sure if Will Franken counts in that category, as he was a woman last time we saw him....)

We have the people we return to every year - such as Mark Thomas, Stewart Lee, Aidan Goatley - so there's a bedrock of quality we know we can rely on.  There are others we've meant to see in the past and ran out of time/money/energy.  Some chosen through personal recommendation.  And some chosen because we wanted a mix of genres in our choices.

And then there's the Free Fringe.  There's a few quite big names in those line-ups too, the likes of Janey Godley and Pippa Evans for instance, but most are relatively unknown.  Or totally obscure.  And that's where the greatest potential form discoveries lies.

How to choose?  Whim.  Serendipity.  Random factors like an interesting photo or title, or something in the very brief blurb that catches your attention.  It's best to be arbitrary and fortuitous.  Trust in the Fates.  Go for bold.

So today's job is going through the Free Fringe programmes and slotting a few choices into the timetable for the weeks ahead.  And then just waiting to see what we've drawn out of the lucky bag.  By the end of the month I'll have a new favourite performer.  I've just no idea who it'll be yet.

The utopia that leaving the EU offers us....

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES AND GERMANS

Inevitably, perhaps, the best and most perceptive comment I've heard yet on the idiocy of the Leave vote came from a man with an outsider's sense of perspective.

Comedian Henning Wehn, on being ask what his views were on the UK's current political mess up, said he was all in favour of the UK leaving Europe, indeed looking forward to it.  Because he'd heard that before we joined the Common Market this island was a bona fide paradise where people only needed to work for three days a week and the electricity bills were incredibly low.  And that getting out of the EU would clearly bring those days back again....

I always love a good metaphor.

There's just a few days to wait

TOMORROW IT'S AUGUST IN EDINBURGH

And, in this household at least, that means one thing.  It's Fringe time.

Of course it isn't just the Fringe.  There's the International Festival.  The Art Festival.  The Book Festival.  The Festival of Politics.  The Tattoo.  But, mostly, it's the Fringe.

It's the Fringe that's largely responsible for the population of the city doubling for a while.  It's the Fringe that prevents you from walking down the Royal Mile with anything greater than mollusc momentum and emerging at the other end with enough flyers to paper your bedroom walls.  It's the Fringe that's putting on well over three thousand two hundred shows in hundreds of venues ranging from plush to slimey.  It's the Fringe that Edinburgh residents either love or hate.

And it's the high point of the city's festival season.  We went to a few gigs at TradFest in April and May.  Saw our fair share of new, and old, movies in FilmFest in June.  And, only a week ago today, rounded off a week and a bit of the Jazz and Blues Festival.  But none of them offer the variety and stamina challenge that awaits the dedicated Fringe goer.  Last year we saw sixty shows.  Last year we were knackered.  So if we make it to fifty this time that will be enough.  We're not getting any younger....

We have just over thirty shows booked so far, enough to be going on with.  I have a timetable set up, the tickets now reside in poly pockets (one pocket for each day of course), there's a list of other possibles waiting to fill in the gaps.  Past experience of these things (and having lots of time on my hands) tells me that this OCD level of preparation will be something I'm grateful for come the start of the the third week.  By then I'm starting to suffer from that dread condition known as "Fringe arse" from sitting in so many unforgiving seats, and I just want to know when and where the next show is.

Of course August is immediately followed by September, and in this household that too can only mean one thing.  It's ice hockey season.  But excitement at the prospect of seeing the new Caps line up take to the ice will have to be contained.  There's some serious Fringe going to get through first....

Carnival time

The city is well into Festival Season now (more of which in another post) and buzzing with tourists.  One of the free events staged each year is the Festival Carnival Parade, which took place on 17 July.  Several hundred performers and participants assemble on The Mound and come down the hill and along Princes Street to the West End where many then continue into the Gardens and give performances.

The parade itself is a mixture of professional entertainers and community groups, with dancers, acrobats, drummers, pipers, a brass band, Chinese dragons and more.  I took a video as they passed by, trying to reflect the colour and energy and excitement they generated.  Sadly it was a dull, cloudy day, but at least it stayed dry and warm.

You can see the full 18 and a bit minute video by clicking on this link.

Or you can find the fourteen individual clips that have gone into it on my YouTube Channel.

Who? SNP? Never heard of them...

TAE SEE OORSELS....

We've just got back from a brief foray back to our old haunts down in England, staying with friends.  Given recent events, and the unfolding development of the new, unelected, UK government, it's no surprise that politics was a frequent subject of conversation.

Both the people we resided with, and other old acquaintances we caught up with, were, like us Remain voters.  All have a strong interest in politics, all share at least some of our left wing principles.  So it was interesting listening to what they new about the political scene in Scotland, and, more specifically, the personalities and names they recognised.

No surprise that Nicola was known to all, and featured frequently on the radar.  And that Alex remains a weel kent figure, no matter what people might think of him.  But the other 'bi' name that seems to have media recognition down there is.... wee Ruthie.  Yup, on the basis of my very small and wholly unscientific sample, it appears that Ruth Davidson is the third best known current Scottish politician in England.  If you were looking for evidence of the media's right wing bias....

Nobody could think who the leader of Scottish Labour was.  Kezia's name evoked some recognition when I mentioned it, but none immediately connected it with the position she holds.

But the biggest surprise, to me, was the total blank I drew with one name you'd think they should all be aware of.  The leader of the third largest bloc - over 50 MPs - in the House of Commons and often the only effective parliamentary opposition to the UK government..  The chief Westminster representative of the party that forms the government in a substantial part of the UK.  A party which can boast the third largest membership numbers of all UK political parties, not that far behind the figure for the Tories and comfortably well clear of fourth place.  A man who recently put in a strong performance on BBC's Question Time, where he was a voice of sense amidst the usual right wing drivel.  Yet not one of them seemed to have any idea who Angus Robertson was.

The events, and mounting sense of crisis, in British politics over the past three weeks has shown the UK to be dysfunctional and anything but 'United'.  The disdain with which Scotland's voice continues to be treated is ever more evident, and my finding felt like an indication of just how little we are listened to.

Feels like Independence can't come soon enough.  We need to get off the Titanic.

As people start to understand the mistake they've made....

THOSE HANDCARTS LOOKED SO INVITING, DIDN'T THEY?

Any time I've written about the EU referendum I've been careful always refer to the Leave side of the argument, or the Leave result, rather than using the awkward word in common usage.  But this time it looks like I'm going to have to give in and utilise an equally clunky portmanteau abomination, because there doesn't appear to be a handy alternative around.

So here it is - Regrexit.  The feeling being expressed by who-knows-how-many Leave voters that they want a second chance to vote, and get it right this time.  It wasn't a phenomenon that took long to arise.  Within the first couple of hours of the result being known journalists were finding Leave voters who weren't just shocked that 'their' side had one, but horrified.  And the numbers joining them appear to have increased rapidly as the days have gone on.  With the Leave people announcing two major U turns on campaign promises, the lack of any sign of any kind of plan, and the disasters that keep hitting to the UK economy, the reality of what they voted for is hitting home.  Suddenly people have started to read the signs of those handcarts they were happy to climb aboard, and they don't like the look of the destination.

And when strongly pro-Leave media organs like the Mail and the Sun started explaining in detail the consequences of a Leave result - more expensive mortgages, dearer food, restrictions on owning property in Europe etc - their readers wondered why they hadn't been told all this before (they had, by Remain, but if you read the Mail or the Sun....).

At the moment nobody has a clue if this is going to turn out to be a ripple or a tidal wave, and it will be a while before there can be anything like reliable polling on the subject.  But there is one indicator that might just give a clue.

I feel dirty at the thought of using this man as an example.  He's a vile, lying, manipulative, barely human scumbag.  He's too often been Rupert Murdoch's lapdog, and was the man was responsible for the Sun not being bought in Liverpool.  He's been spouting Leave lies and propaganda in his Sun column for weeks.  So when, only four days after the outcome he pushed for had come true, Kelvin Mackenzie announces he has "buyers remorse" about his vote, then something significant might just be happening.  If a man who was previously a highly vocal anti-EU fanatic is now saying that leaving would be a mistake, you have to wonder what comes next.  As the economic situation gets worse, and it becomes clear that many Leave promises are never going to be realised, it's hard to imagine that there won't be more with a similar change of heart.  Especially those who can now see how badly misinformed they have been by their politicians and media.

"May you live in interesting times" goes the old Chinese curse.  The times we live in have become much, much too 'interesting', but maybe there's some dullness, and sanity, waiting down the line.

Another referendum? We have to reach the disconnected.

DO REFERENDUMS COME IN THREES?

A few years ago I received an invitation, right out of the blue, to a reunion of my primary school class, on the 50th anniversary of us all meeting for the first time.  So I went along, curious to know what more than four decades had done to people I had once known on a daily basis, but were now complete strangers.

It was fun, with most of us being totally unrecognisable from our twelve year old selves, and a couple looking like they'd hardly changed at all.  Funny what time does to us.  And, in learning a bit about each other, I discovered one thing that took me aback.

My professional background was in IT (or 'working with computers' as it was when I began, the term IT not having appeared yet) so dealing with change and new technology has been a big part of most of my adult life.  It came as a bit of shock to realise that, out of the couple of dozen people in that room, about a quarter of them didn't have, didn't even want, an email address.  And another quarter only had one because their work provided it.  Of the remaining half, only a half of them used social media, basically just Facebook, and I was the only person active on Twitter.  I couldn't help wondering how that first few, with no email, no internet access, managed to function in the modern world.  Clearly they do, but in ways that would now seem near alien to me - and probably to you since you're reading this on-line.


With last week's big event out of the way, I have now cast a vote in two referendums in less than two years.  On both occasions, I have to admit, putting my cross against the losing side.  The fallout from Friday morning may yet lead to me having to choose for a third time, so I'm interested in what the differences and similarities were between the two that have been, to inform what might happen in the future.

One clearly related aspect is that both offered a binary choice, ostensibly between maintaining the status quo, and introducing major constitutional change and upheaval.  But on the first occasion it was the former that emerged the winner, latterly it was change that came through.

Of course there are a huge number of differences between the two, and the circumstances under which they were conducted.  I don't pretend I can even think of, let alone discuss, all of these, for it's a complex subject, so I'm going to be reduced to doing some things I generally dislike - picking on a particular aspect I feel is important for the future, and talking in sweeping generalisations because there's no way not to on this occasion.

In 2014 IndyRef saw the incumbent Scottish Government, and the wider Yes campaign, push for independence.  Ranged against them was the full force of the British establishment.  Every one of the three main established political parties.  And, more crucially for my purposes, almost the entire mainstream media.  Only one national newspaper, and that a relatively small circulation Sunday paper, editorialised for a Yes vote.  The TV and radio, particularly the BBC, were at best neutral, sometimes appeared to give the No a bit more leeway, and on at least one occasion the BBC deliberately lied in an effort to smear Alex Salmond.

In contrast the the EURef has been the British Establishment fighting itself.  Forget all this nonsense of leave representing the common man - this was two Bullingdon boys slugging it out and the only reason it came to happen at all was down to Tory party infighting.  This time the challengers to the crown had much of the traditional media on their side.  The Sun, the Fail, the Excess, the Torygraph, all spouted Leave propaganda throughout.  (I haven't been able to find the latest figures, but these from May last year give a fair indication of what that means in terms of relative numbers)  And the TV and radio failed in their public service duty by doing little to emphasise that much of the Leave campaign was based on outright lies (we've already had two major U turns on campaign promises within two days of the result).

So what has all this got to do with that reunion?  One of the most salient factors in both referendums was the split across the age groups.  In both cases the side that one did so with most support coming from older generations, while the losing side appealed more to the young (see what I mean about sweeping generalisations!).  If you were under forty you were much, much more likely to vote Yes or Remain, if you were over fifty you were probably for No and Leave (younger readers please note - I'm sixty but voted Yes and Remain, so please don't blame all of us!).

OK, my reunion sample wasn't of valid statistical significance, but I still think it gives us some indication of why this age split was so noticeable.  If you're connected to the world digitally you have access to news and information sources far beyond the traditional media.  You can fact check quickly, you can look for other sources to confirm or deny stories you come across.  You are better informed.  You are not at the mercy of the editorial line of whatever rag you might choose to subscribe to.

But if you're not connected?  Who else are you going to believe if the only source of information you have is the likes of the Mail - Britain's most complained about "news"paper on account of the number of totally fabricated stories they publish.  And the state broadcaster is failing you by not explaining why this information you're being fed isn't worth the paper it's printed on.  What hope is there of making an informed and rational decision?  No, I'm not suggesting this is the case for all No or Leave voters - many will have reached their decision for perfectly valid reasons having looked at the options.  But there are still going to have been a lot of people who decided in a state of ignorance.  There are already enough leave voters admitting they didn't know what they were really voting for, and are shocked by what they've let us in for, to make that a certainty.

So what does this mean for the next referendum, whenever it comes?  I very much doubt that that's going to be a rerun of the last week's vote, however many leave voters wish for a chance to change their minds.  Or indeed because of this petition which is meaningless in reality, but utterly hilarious because it was set up a far right Leave supporter before the 23rd in an effort to subvert democracy when his side lost, and has now been hijacked by the Remain side.  As right wingers are so fond of saying, you couldn't make it up....

That probably means another IndyRef, unless some EU solution akin to the Denmark/Greenland position can be achieved, although our having a land border with England could make that tricky.  If a Yes vote is to win this time around then it will need to reach older voters, and to do that it has to ensure fair treatment from the traditional media.  I doubt that the likes of the Fail, Sun etc could be anything other than against, but it was amazing to see the Daily Record, Scotland's second biggest selling tabloid, come out with pro Indy front page the other day.  In the past it has been firmly aligned to Labour and unionism.  Whether or not this represents a blip or a permanent change remains to be seen.  And as for the BBC....?

We do know that second IndyRef will be fought on very different grounds.  This time around the Yes vote could be one, in part, for the status quo - to retain our EU membership and citizenship.  That makes for a very different starting point, especially after such a decisive Remain vote across the country on Thursday.  But the mainstream media may continue to be the biggest obstacle to getting the case for Indy across.  We have to find ways to reach the disconnected, or the over sixties could let down their grandchildren once again.

The most fun you can have supporting Remain.

WHY CAN'T ALL ACTIVISM BE LIKE THAT?

What a brilliant idea.  With the crucial EU referendum vote taking place tomorrow, a couple of days ago musician Aidan O'Rourke announced plans to stage a mass Strip the Willow outside the Holyrood parliament, as a means of demonstrating support for a Remain vote.  And so we decided to take part.  As Lau fans, as music fans, as convinced Remainers and, we hoped, as something vaguely resembling dancers.

Considering this event didn't exist forty eight hours before, the turn out was impressive.  There must have been about forty musicians.  Fiddles, accordions, guitars, banjos, bagpipes, whistles, bouzoukis, bhodrans, drums and even a clarsach.  And close on two hundred dancers formed two lines and stripped that willow bare.  Young and old, women and men, experienced and clueless, and everything in between.  There were heavily pregnant women, and women with babies strapped to them.  All joining in.  Plenty of bystanders too but, more importantly, journalists and even a couple of TV crews.  Both the BBC and Sky showed up to record short pieces, showing people having a great time, and the big support for Remain in Scotland.  That's the important bit.

Other than receiving a salient reminder of just how unfit I am right now, it was great fun, and the atmosphere was one of enthusiastic joy.  Enthusiasm for the music, for the dancing, for the company, and, most of all, for wanting to stay in the EU.  Activist organisers take note - this is definitely how it's done!

You have until tomorrow to sober up

FROM A CONCERNED NEIGHBOUR

Dear England,

We're getting quite worried about you. You're clearly not well, but maybe if you have a quiet lie down in a dark room you'll start to feel better. Just do it by Thursday please....

When I first started thinking about writing this post my intention was to highlight what a gift to comedy this whole EU Referendum nonsense was proving to be. But it's getting harder to find it all so funny now. Recent polls have shown Leave ahead, and the real possibility that they might actually win. Despite every sane independent commentator pointing out the disastrous consequences. What on earth is England thinking? Scotland looks on in horror.

Part of the comedy potential came from the styles of campaigning. having been through Indyref a couple of years ago we know exactly what Project Fear looks like. But now we have the spectacle of Project Fear taking on..... Project Fear. And no principle is too sacrosanct not to be dragged down into the sewers and regurgitated as hyperbolic spume. We've had Johnson telling us remaining will be like living under Hitler, farage telling us we'll all be raped in our beds, and Cameron forecasting the outbreak of World War Three if we leave. (In which case Dave, why did you call this stupid referendum? Oh yes, Tory party infighting....) And now, with just days to go, a pro Remain MP is murdered in the street by a far right Leave fanatic. Makes Jim Murphy's egg look a bit tame now, doesn't it?

OK, I know the EU is awful. I've seen how they shafted the Greeks. And yes, there is a lack of democracy in the governance. But when you compare it with Westminster it doesn't really look so bad. I'm not aware of anyone in the EU structure holding their post on account of being especially friendly with their imaginary friend, nor where their sole 'qualification' is managing to fall out of the 'right' vagina. The EU parliamentary electoral system doesn't allow a faction to win just 37% of the vote and end up with a majority. And as for the House of Lords....

Supporting the Westminster system and decrying the EU's lack of democracy is like Murdoch accusing Dacre of telling porkies.

There are several decent, reasonable arguments in favour of leaving the EU. But few of them get heard, the pro-Leave arguments being dominated by the right. And that matters, as I'll mention later.

Commentators are saying that there are two major issues dominating the voters minds. Number one is the economy. We know from experience that nobody can predict the economic future, but pretty much every independent thinker is saying that the impact is likely to be seriously detrimental. Even Leave have been forced to admit it. So how come so few people seem to be listening? Personally, as with Indyref, I don't think this should be about money. Nobody doubts that the UK would survive leaving the EU, and there might be benefits that outweigh the short or medium time financial problems that leaving would clearly cause. Anyway, if anyone is trashing the UK economy it's wee Georgie, with his austerity madness, and a Leave vistory won't change that insanity.

As for the second issue, immigration, this isn't a problem, it's a benefit. It's a non-issue created by a xenophobic right wing media, and the far right, like ukip. The latter are keen to blame everything on 'uncontrolled' immigration, and behind it all the dastardly EU. But every study shows that Britain is better off for immigration, and in many places, and certainly in Scotland, they are essential to the economy for demographic reasons. Most immigrants are younger, make little use of public services (and are rarely in receipt of benefits, despite the Daily Fail style myths being peddled), but contribute significantly with their taxes. They create jobs, they don't steal them.

Alongside this is the cry to 'take control of our borders'. Another myth. If you come in to Britain you have to show your passport. If you don't, as at the Irish border, it's because the British government has decided it should be that way. Or because they are failing to put the resources into the Border Agency. But it has nothing to do with the EU. There's this fantasy idea that anyone from the EU can walk in without any barriers. But the reality is that there are many regulations which can be applied to prevent entry, should that be necessary. We already have 'control' of borders. I would hate to see immigration being limited. Freedom is freedom.

If there is a bit of a problem it's with illegal immigration. So how is leaving the EU going to help that? By reducing cooperation between countries?

I feel some distaste for finding myself on the same side as Cameron. But this about much more than personalities. And anyway, it would upset me even more to be aligned with the power hungry Johnson, failed minister Gove or the corrupt and discredited Fox. Not to mention that far right band of ukip loons. So I'll vote Remain for three reasons.

The EU may be corrupt in places. But nothing like Westminster, as this terrifying quote from Murdoch makes clear. The EU, for all it's faults, retains some respect for human rights, workers rights, women's rights. A Johnson government would have none of it.

Advances in science have been of huge benefit to our society. The politicians running the Leave and remain campaigns both lie and exaggerate. Now Michael Gove is telling us we shouldn't pay any attention to experts, aka 'People who know what they're talking about'. But I'd have much more faith in the views of the people who spend their lives dispassionately reaching conclusions for the analysis of real data, than a man who's been a disaster as Education Secretary who thought that it would be a good idea to teach creationism to children. So when Stephen Hawking and the majority of his colleagues tell us that leaving the EU would be bad for science, and therefore our future, don't you think you should listen?

My third reason will see me accused of the hyperbole I condemn in others, but I can't see any way round it.

Quick question. When was the last time we had over seventy years pass without a war between any of the major powers of Europe?  Answers on a postcard....

We are living in a time when the notion of a shooting war between France and Germany, or Britain and Spain, or Austria and Italy, has become virtually unthinkable.  And that has never happened before.  Of course that is isn't entirely down to the EU, but it's certainly been, and continues to be, a major contributor to peace.

Leave supporters will tell you that it's NATO should take the credit.  But a military alliance can only keep the peace - it can't make it.  A lasting peace comes when states bind together, working on their common interests and ensuring that the idea of prosperity is one of mutual dependency and cooperation.

Although there are some on the left and in the centre of politics who have their reasons for supporting Leave, the greatest thrust for Out has come from the far right.  It's noticeable that ofttimes it's been hard to distinguish between the statements of Johnson, Gove and IDS, and the bigoted bile coming from Farage and co.  Ukip are your far right (and near enough non existent in Scotland).  If anyone disputes that I suggest you check out the company they choose to ally themselves to in the European Parliament; or the endorsements they received last year from Nick Griffin, 'Tommy Robinson', Britain First and Hatie Plopkins; or just one glance at Farage's nakedly racist poster a few days ago - Goebbels or Shepilov would have been proud of that one.

A win for Leave would be seen as a victory by the far right.  Not just in the UK , but across Europe.  And that's an ominous thought.  Similar far right nationalist groups are already exploiting discontent and lies in many countries across the continent.  In France the appalling Le Pen is seriously talked about as a possible president.  In Austria, Sweden, Denmark and Greece the fascists have grown their support.  The openly racist Pegida began in Germany and has since spread like a fungus.

And, that, for me, is the greatest danger of all.  An EU that collapses into rival right wing states run by rabble rousing nationalists.  You don't need to have all that much knowledge of history to see the alarm bells that rings.

But I did say there was comedy in all of this, so let's close on the funniest possible outcome.  If, on Friday morning, we wake to find the UK has voted narrowly to remain, but England voted narrowly to Leave, wouldn't that be hilarious?  You can imagine Nigel 'frog face' Farage turning a more vibrant shade than even his most ridiculous pair of trousers, and Paul 'Eddie Hitler' Nuttall's head exploding as the walnut that sits where his brain should be fails to comprehend what's happening.  How we'd laugh....

The tuk-ing of Lisbon

WHAT THE TUK?

From one capital city of hills to another.  But Lisbon has some city centre slopes of a steepness to make even an Edinburgh resident blanch.  It also has some wonderful architecture, magnificent squares and a long and fascinating history, so the two have much in common.

When we first visited, four years ago, we returned impressed by the friendliness of the people and the relatively unspoiled character of the place.  For a big European capital city it had done well to resist the blight of commonality that the likes of McDonald's and Starbucks impose upon our streets, with the resulting sensation that you could be anywhere.  Lisbon had character, charm, individuality.  And it was cheap too.

Portugal only rid itself of the deadening weight of fascist rule about forty years ago, but that political fresh start seems to have been of benefit.  They have implemented one of the most enlightened, and successful, drugs policies in the world, indicating that they may be a country which the rest of us can learn from in some respects.  But it is also  country which is being changed by the desire to  raise the standard of living.  With a greater emphasis on tourism being one facet.

We got to our hotel, settled in, and went for a wander, quickly recalling the general layout and some of the places we had visited last time.  It didn't take long to feel at home in that respect.  Much is as it was.  But there have been big changes, and the most obvious sign of these was a new arrival on the streets, in what we swiftly gathered was huge numbers.

Tuk-tuks.  The three wheeled motorised rickshaws you'd more usually associate with India and Thailand.  They were everywhere.  At first glimpse they look like a charming addition, and there are some stunning paint jobs on show.  But once you've seen a couple of dozen or so in quick succession it hits you that this is a sign of just how much Lisbon has changed since we were last here.  On our first full day we took in a walking tour to sample local food and drink.  I asked our guide about the tuk-tuks, wondering if my memory was faulty, and there had been some last time.  Her response was surprisingly vehement.  They had first appeared three years ago and had since become an - her word - infestation.  And this from someone working in the tourist industry.

And that's what it's on it's way to becoming, an industry like any other.  The changes to the buildings and streets aren't great yet, but there were a few more of those American food chain places in evidence than before.  And a lot more people, but not always the infrastructure to cope with them.  the locals are, by and large, still lovely, friendly people.  But you can see signs of some of them getting a bit pissed off with the influx, much like Edinburgh in August.  We took a 15 tram out to Belem to see the attractions there, and it was as jam packed as any London tube train.  Armpit territory.  Sardines (appropriately enough).  Squeezed up against us tourists were people who had jobs and  appointments to get to, relatives to visit, good works to perform (maybe).  This great influx of the ignorant hampers them in their daily routines, and the novelty is wearing off.  The visitors might bring money, but there are a lot of negatives too.

On the plus side (?) the city is starting to think more like a tourist destination.  The Lisbon Story Centre didn't exist four years ago, and now provides a great way to find out more about the background to your surroundings when you visit.  But there's a lot to do too, if it really is to end up as a modern holiday centre.  It's not in the least disabled-friendly, and vegetarians don't get many options.

There's only one end to this story and that's an increase in blandness, in homogenity, in changing from a city that welcomes tourists into a tourist city - and the two are definitely not the same.  The topography of Lisbon is such that it could never entirely lose it's character.  But if we were to return in another four years I wonder how many of the small local businesses will still exist in the city centre?  Will the locals shed their charm to become like so many of their counterparts in London and Paris?  And will tuk-tuks rule the world, will they be charging even more than the €50 per hour they do now.  Lisbon is still a cheap capital to visit.  But that's changing.  I just hope it isn't too painful a transition for the Lisboners.

From Gerry Adams to David Baddiel

FROM POLITICIAN TO FUNNY MAN?

Twenty years ago today I climbed the front steps of the offices where I worked, walked across the foyer and through the security doors into the lobby.  There to be faced with two photos of two different but similar people.  Underneath them a piece of paper which read "What's the difference between these two men?  Gerry isn't 40 today."

The picture on the left showed Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams, with myself on the right.  And physically there was a close resemblance between us.  Much the same hairstyle, beard and glasses.  Now, two decades on, I have found myself being told, three times in the past couple of months, that I look very much like David Baddiel.  If you check out 2016 Gerry he still has much the same style he did back in the nineties, albeit much, much greyer.  So at least I've moved on.

I'm not sure if this tells me much.  It's not as if I have much else in common with these gentlemen.  Unlike Mr A I was no supporter of the "armed struggle", aka terrorism, but would agree with him the that creation of the so called Northern Ireland was a political error that has resulted in years and years of unnecessary problems.

Whilst the ostensible reason for partition was to reflect the interests of the Protestant majority in Ulster, the actual motivation was less moved by democratic sentiment and more an exercise in cynical realpolitik by the British Establishment.  The government of the day, and the Admiralty especially, had identified the Belfast Shipyards as a key strategic asset in maintaining The Empire.  Few now recognise the tragic irony whereby the iconic Harland and Wolff cranes have become little more than landmarks on the tourist trail, and the most populous remaining chunk of the once-global imperial reach is that selfsame chunk of the Emerald Isle.

There we are.  Maybe that's the connection between us - the ability to go off on political rants from the flimsiest of starting points!  But my Gerry lookalike days are long behind me and now it's David who's my man.  Politically he's a man I probably have even more in common with than the Irishman.  But, sadly, without the same level of funny bone or writing talent, and if I were to crack a joke about football it would more likely be acerbic than affectionate.

So I'll grasp what I can from the comparison.  Adams was, is, several years my senior, Baddiel the best part of a decade younger.  Which feels like an improvement.  Perhaps a stress free retirement has rejuvenating benefits?

Or maybe I've just got funnier?  I wish....