Cummings' camel comeuppance?

A CAMEL WITH TWO HUMPS

He's no Hans Christian Andersen, but watching Dom's Jackanory session yesterday I found one old adage kept popping into my head (along with all the sweary stuff...) 

"a camel is a horse designed by a committee"

Dom's fairy tale looked, smelled and behaved like the most deformed camel of all time.  Within a couple of minutes of the start of the world's most boring fable there were lawyers on Twitter saying "this has been lawyered", something even a layman could spot pretty quickly.  So how did this sorry pastiche of a story come into being?

That's where the camel comes in.  Can anyone doubt this was the product of a hastily assembled group, including at least a couple of lawyers, told to find some kind of rebuttal to each of the points raised in the press over the previous days (mostly down to the excellent investigative journalism of Pippa Crerar).  And then the really fun bit, attempting to squeeze all those random excuses into something that vaguely resembled a coherent narrative, followed by coaching Dom in which version of the fantasy he now had to stick to.  I can't see any other explanation for something so transparently pathetic.

Two humps?  My knowledge of children is comfortably stamp sized, so I consulted everybody's favourite pish expert, Gusset Grippers, on the likelihood of a four year old going for five hours in a car.  

Her answer - "I’d suggest that if a 4 year old hadn’t peed in 5 hours it’s a bit of a worry.  The only way I can see it, logically, would be if he was dehydrated before the trip - in which case you have a kid whining for 5 hours.  Maybe they drugged him?"

Has Dom been taking parenting tips from Doris?

So now we know the answer to that age old question, "what do you get when you cross a hyena with a weasel?".  The Cummings kid must be a fekin dromedary.

PS  Gusset Grippers is as the wonderfully funny physio and comedian Elaine Miller.  Do give her a follow on Twitter by clicking here.  Who could resist a woman that talks pish for a living and promises to improve your orgasms?